Home→Forums→Relationships→STRUGGLE MARRIAGE AND PAINFUL.
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July 17, 2020 at 6:39 am #361931ThonditParticipant
Correction the year 2015
July 17, 2020 at 8:57 am #361940AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You referred to a wedding by Kenya’s president Uhuru Kenyatta in 2015. I googled and read that the president attended a wedding of the Mining Cabinet Secretary Najib Balala’s son in that year. It was an Islamic wedding which “demonstrated Kenya’s rich multi-cultural and multi-racial heritage.. the country accepts people from different cultures and religions, who live together in peace and harmony.. people accepting and living together in the spirit of mutual respect”- is this the wedding you were referring to?
You shared that December 2019 you received a call from a person who was given your number by your in laws/ estranged wife. He wanted you to help him send a bag with clothes for Christmas. He begged you to help him and you finally agreed, but his bag got lost, and you were accused of selling the contents of the bag (“They said I have sold their things or give it to people around me to wear their clothes”). You then paid them $200 for the lost contents of the bag.
Today, seven months later, you received a call from Wau, a city in northwestern South Sudan, that they have the bag you sent so long ago. You had the bag sent to the person who asked you to send it, and told the person “take your bag and I don’t need the money I paid you last year”.
I am sorry to read this story. There is a saying: no good deed goes unpunished. It is not always the case, but too often when a person tries to do a good deed, such as helping someone else, the result is that the person doing good gets punished. I hope you don’t help anyone again in a way that can turn around to hurt you!
anita
July 18, 2020 at 7:12 am #362005ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks for the nice insightful words. I’m just speechless to see all these with my eye. I don’t know why they haven’t posted it on Google for the wedding of the young man. I think they will also do the same thing the had done with this Dinka girls who has been married by Nigerians nigga called RUNNIE (Rundown). It’s the one trending this days.
For the issues of content of my in-law I just let it go.
I know I defeated everything.
Gregory
July 18, 2020 at 7:51 am #362009AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome. “Nigerian n***: please do not use that word, the n word, that is.
You mentioned “Dinka girls”. Wikipedia reads that that Dinka is the largest ethnic tribe in South Sudan. It mentions something terrible: the “Dinkas Massacre”, another name is the Bor Massacre- about 2,000 Dinka civilians were murdered and several thousands more were wounded over the course of the two month massacre, November 1991- January 1992.
This massacre was part of The Second Sudanese Civil War (1983-2005). You were born during that war. It lasted 22 years, and that war resulted in the independence of South Sudan in 2011, six years after the war ended. About 2 million people died and 4 million people were displaced.
It’s okay with me if you don’t comment on this. It is incredible, the human destruction.
anita
July 18, 2020 at 9:19 am #362018ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Thanks for being a parent to me. I apreciated you on this matter of Dinka.
When you say this it means, you are protecting me to go in the wrong way. It is a precious guidance in my life. I promise you that I will not used those words again.
Besides ,I always see life as I’m, not as it is.
There actually isn’t an objective reality when it comes to people. Facts may be facts, u are telling me they reality, but my viewpoint and my vantage point impact my ability to process the facts as they are neutrally.
I look at life through my own personal filters, my own past experiences, beliefs and paradigms. I see everything and everyone through my unique subjectives lens that has been forming since our ancestors were younger.
I sometimes secretly wish I would stay exactly as I’m, but I know that we are designed to grow. We are allowed to. I’m learning to give myself permission to grow and change. Let yourself. Let others. Everyone deserves that. Some people come into our life for a day, a week, a month, a season, perhaps a year or longer, always to teach us something. I have learnt enough from my married.
Thank them, always. Even if they cause you pain. Some lessons hurts a lots. In fact, during these challenging months, the voice of my work out instructor reminds me, “if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” — true for fitness, true for relationships, true for life. Each person we meet on this earth has been brought to us a gift, our job is to unwrap it, whatever it may be.I again thanks you once again thou I mentioned it already Anita.
Gregory.
July 18, 2020 at 10:56 am #362021AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
I want to read your recent post when I am more focused, a bit later today. I will be back to you within a few hours and reply.
anita
July 18, 2020 at 1:15 pm #362029AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You are welcome and thank you for being part of my life. You wrote so well: “There actually isn’t an objective reality when it comes to people.. I look at life through my own personal filters, my own past experiences, beliefs and paradigms. I see everything and everyone through my unique subjective lens that have been forming since our ancestors were younger”- this is worth retyping and repeating.
“I sometimes secretly wish I could stay exactly as I am, but I know that we are designed to grow”- how profound. It is true: if we stay the same, if we don’t learn and change-> then we regress, we go backward.
It is either moving forward or moving backward, there is no standing still.
“I’m learning to give myself permission to grow and change. Let yourself. Let others”- beautifully said.
“during these challenging months, the voice of my workout instructor reminds me, ‘if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you’- true for fitness, true for relationships, true for life”- I like this sentence: if it doesn’t Challenge you, it doesnt Change you. And you added: true for fitness, for relationships, for life.
A pleasure reading this post and many of your previous posts!
anita
- This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by .
July 18, 2020 at 10:21 pm #362059ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
I’m a learner who is ready to learn more in life and other things on earth. Whatever you said to me give picture to change what I have thought off and why Am I doing it. You are a more than a mother. I know from my blood one day I will see you physically from my angle of no RJO (reject Take-off) flight. Life is about who is behind you and guide you from mistake and dangers. Seen I lost my beloved mom 7yrs ago I can see now at least you have filled the hole that mom left. To be honest thanks for being open to me always whenever you see wrong sentence that I’m not supposed to. Congratulations to you Anita.
I love you so much mommy.
God blessed you abundantly.
Gregory.
July 19, 2020 at 7:44 am #362083AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
You have a unique way of expressing yourself, unique in my experience, a way which delights me. For example: “one day I will see you physically from my angle of no RJO flight”, RJO standing for Rejected Takeoff (it happens when it is decided to abort the takeoff of an airplane because of a suspected or actual technical failure, such as an engine failure, fire, environmental conditions, etc.)
I feel love for you too, Gregory.
anita
July 19, 2020 at 11:59 pm #362126ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
😂 😂 you are also putting a smile into my face when I just see your post. By the way you are amazing to me. I love the way you praise ME. Congratulations for seeing the good side of how I expressed myself out to you. And on simple token, I was trying to impressed you , just to try to put u into a good mood. This generation we are in is a confused one, my post may find you when you are being annoyed somewhere and I have to do my best to bring a smile in yourself.
However, I love you beyond myself Anita, and I was a girl 😂 😂 I would have go for you Anita, to my husband 😂. You are so lovely and caring as well.
I’m just a simple son of a farmer who is trying to make thing right. I have never got a good hearted person like you on earth Anita,,, ,,,, u will be my iota at this in my life.
Amazing Anita, God bless you Anita, and I love you mommy Anita,,,,, yes I told u I’m a learner who is ready to learn….. Thanks sometimes you try to correct my grammar and spelling into conducive one,
Gregory,,,, Dad’s Son.
July 20, 2020 at 12:03 am #362127ThonditParticipantCorrection * if I was a girl then I would have go for you to be my husband, if you were also a man 😂 😂 😂. I think I would have be pregnant with your child Now 😂 😂. Hope my post will find u in the right mood.
Waiting to see your amazing replied.
July 20, 2020 at 11:53 am #362185AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Once again I am smiling (and for the first time today, and it is 11:48 am at this moment!). Thank you for your kind words and for my first smiles of the day.
“my post may find you when you are being annoyed somewhere and I have to do my best to bring a smile in yourself”- I was very tired and not feeling any joy when I started to read your post and you changed that. You are amazing to me!
Smiling yet again!
anita
July 21, 2020 at 12:34 am #362241ThonditParticipantDear Anita,
Wow this is so pleasing , unbelievable to me for the first time today to bring a smile in yourself. That meant I have had earn a credit to you now. I was desperated and devastated from the first time I encountered with the issue of marriage. And on addition to that, you tried heaven and earth to put me into a better, as well as show me a life in front of me in the future. In that moment you keep hardly advising me to take my time, time is the most important thing on earth. It would often solve every problem between.
However, u also correct me not to used “n” the. Art of work that is in aviation terms (amazingly). Anita, it’s my duty to bring a smile 😂 😂 and happiness in your face. “The Bible says it is better to hold your tongue, than saying something bad you will ever regret.” So now I’m absorbed in my life and sober enough. The Bible also studied a woman again……. I have studied you, so when I noticed anything I wrote and you ain’t happy or smile,,,,, then I have to switch it off.
You deserve a golden name, respect, honorable desires, 😍 love, a blessing too, from me Anita ,,,,, thanks for the nice insightful words back to me, my sweet heart Anita,,,, you are my motivator, my CRM ( Crew Resource Management) meaning to detect any problem before it goes worst.
If I should called you honey bee, it is too small 😂 😂, sweet one, which doesn’t last for 5 minutes,,,, babe like a child. U deserved this names, my elephant, my giraffe, my ostrich, my Lion King 😂 😂 😂
You are amazing to me Anita.
Thanks
Gregory
July 21, 2020 at 7:18 am #362257AnonymousGuestDear Gregory:
Again, you brought a smile to my face, this time early in the morning (7:14 am, Tuesday). You have a unique way of expressing yourself and I find it delightful, thank you for expressing yourself the ways you do!
“The bible says it is better to hold your tongue, than saying something bad you will ever regret”- thank you for reminding me of this excellent biblical advice. And thank you, once again, for being part of my life!
anita (your humble CRM)
July 21, 2020 at 7:50 am #362265ThonditParticipantDear my humble CRM,
my elephant, my giraffe, my Lion King…
Haha 😂 😂 much love to u mommy.
We live in a society in which mediocrity is the norm. Many people do as little as they go by. I don’t take pride in their work or in who they are. If somebody is watching, they may perform one way, but when nobody is watching they will cut corners and take the easy way out. I always do more than is expected; carry it two miles. I’m a person of excellence. I go above and beyond what’s asked of me. I do more than is expected. ” this means if I’m supposed to be at work at 8a.m. , I show up ten minutes early. I produce more than you have to. God doesn’t reward sloppiness. God rewards excellence.
In the Old Testament, Abraham sent his servant to a foreign country to find a wife for his son, Isaac. Abraham told the servant that he would know, if he would found the right lady if she offered a drink to both him and camels. The servant reached the city around sunset. A beautiful young lady named Rebekah came out to the well. The servant said, “I’m so thirsty. Would you mind lowering your bucket and getting me a drink.?”
She said, “not only that, let get some water for your 🐪 camels as well.”
Here is what’s interesting: After a long day’s walk, a camel can drink thirty gallons of water. This servant had ten camels with him. Think about what Rebekah did. If she had a one-gallon bucket of water, she said in effect, “Yes I’ll not only do what you asked and give you a drink, but I’ll also dip down in this well three hundred more times and give your ten camels to drink. ” Rebekah went way beyond the call of duty. As a result she was chosen to marry Isaac, Who came from the wealthiest family of that time. I doubt that she ever again had to draw three hundred gallons of water.
God rewards excellence. When you do more than what is required, you will see God’s goodness in new ways.Gregory
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