Dear Mak:

You are welcome. I have a few clarifications requests based on what you shared in your recent post because I want to understand you better. If you want to, you are welcome to clarify best you can, expressing yourself as simply and as clearly as you are able. Where applicable, you can give me an example or two:

1. “I’m partially judgmental with others and one’s self”- ?

2. “I categorize people in different ways”- ?

3. “I couldn’t balance between being myself and with others”- ?

4. “I put pressure on my self and sabotage myself when I connect with people I feel like I have to do so. Not like I want to do so”- ?

5. “I can’t let go while around people. Experienced a lot of shyness to deal with others”- ?

anita

Dear Mak:

I apologize for not being back to your thread earlier, and for not being able to answer you at this time. I will need to re-read all your posts so far and integrate your more recent posts to my previous understanding. I will be able to do so with a fresh brain tomorrow morning, in about 17 hours from now.  I will make sure that I will post to you next, before I answer anyone else.

anita

Dear Mak:

You shared that you had “several LSD bad trips” in the past, that you broke off addiction, and that you are currently living in a rehab house.

You shared that because of your LSD bad trips, you suffered from a “psychologically ‘missing part’ problem”, that you feel like there is “a black hole” in you, and that “something is not right”. Referring to “good trips”, you wrote that those trips introduced you to a “deeper spiritual meaning”, and changed your “perspective to the world and one’s self and others”.

You wrote that you suffered “psychological and spiritual damage” from your use of LSD, including a missing part problem, a black hole inside, something not right, a loss of authenticity, a loss of the Soul, a disconnection  from yourself, a disconnection from others, a disconnection from reality, (viewing “life and myself from outside source”), “a lot of mis-understanding, delusions and illusions.. can’t get to be in peace with myself”.

When you are around people, as in group therapy, you feel very shy, foggy, in the wrong, upset, separate and alien from others, as if you and others exist in different planes.

About your goals, you wrote: “I want to fly… I wanna free my Soul from any condition.. I don’t wanna break my body mind system”

Wikipedia on LSD psychological effects: “The most common immediate psychological effects of LSD are visual hallucinations and illusions (.. known as ‘trips’), which can vary depending on how much is used and how the brain responds. Trips.. last up to 12 hours. Negative experiences, referred to as ‘bad trips‘, produce intense negative emotions, such as irrational fears and anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia, rapid mood swings, hopelessness, intrusive thoughts.. It is impossible to predict when a bad trip will occur… Good trips are stimulating and pleasurable, and typically involve feeling as if one is floating, feeling disconnected from reality, feeling joy or euphoria.. decreased inhibition, and the belief that one has extreme mental clarity or superpowers.”

On LSD Flashbacks, it reads: “Flashbacks are a reported psychological phenomenon in which an individual experiences an episode of some of LSD subjective effects after the drug has worn off, persisting for months or years after hallucinogen use. Individuals with hallucinogen persisting perception disorder experience intermittent or chronic flashbacks that cause distress or impairment in life and work”.

On  the treatment of Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD),  Wikipedia reads: “Some reports point to sedatives being helpful and stimulants and cannabis worsening symptoms. Avoiding any additional use of psychoactive drugs (including cannabis and alcohol) from an early stage of the disorder seems to be the most effective way in which sufferers achieve recovery, as these substances apparently worsen the condition over time… Sunglasses and talk therapy might also help those who are dealing HPPD, but in general it seems that maintaining sobriety from all  psychoactive substances is still the best solution available for this condition, as it’s been proven to naturally relieve the disorder over time”.

My input today:

1. Congratulations for breaking off your addiction to LSD (and other drugs perhaps)!

2. Congratulations for choosing to participate in a recovery program in the Rehab House where you live.

3. I hope you continue your recovery program for a long, long time to come, after you leave Rehab- as an outpatient, or as an active participant in an appropriate support group.

– make sure that you do not consume alcohol, cannabis and other drugs. Take in only drugs that are prescribed to you by a responsible medical doctor.

4. I hope that the effects you are still suffering from will lessen and lessen over time, as you abstain from LSD, cannabis, alcohol and any other drug (other than what is prescribed to you by a doctor).

5. For now, tolerate these disturbing effects best you can. Do not expect these effects to magically disappear. It will take time and an ongoing treatment/ support plan. Be patient.

6. When around people, as when you are in group therapy, be aware that you are not the only person in the group who is uncomfortable, very shy, and feeling disconnected. These subjective experiences (feeling very shy, disconnected, etc.) are human experiences, not alien experiences. You are not the only one experiences these things. Look around you when sitting in the group and you will see other people uncomfortable, disconnected etc.

7. You wrote: “another topic I would like to discuss is consciousness healing (in other words third eye healing”.

I looked up Third eye in Wikipedia: “The third eye (also called the mind’s eye or inner eye).. a speculative invisible eye, usually depicted as located on the forehead, which provides perception beyond ordinary sight.. the gate that leads to the inner realms and spaces of higher consciousness… The third eye is often associated with religious visions.. the ability to observe chakras and auras.. and out of body experiences. People who are said to have the capacity to utilize their third eyes are sometimes known as seers.”-

– you can pursue this third eye healing in the context of Hinduism, Buddhism and/ or Taoism. There are many books about the third eye, for example: “Awakening the Third Eye”, a book that supposedly provides practical information and techniques.

My last comment in this post: make sure that you no longer try to be a “seer” by consuming LSD or other drugs. You can be a seer by… looking around you and seeing what is there. For example, when you sit in therapy group, you didn’t yet see that there are other people in the group who feel similar to you, who are also uncomfortable and upset. You didn’t yet see that those other people around you are on the same plane as you.

There is a lot more to see by opening your eyes and looking around. Wherever you are (drug free), ask yourself: what is there to see here and now that I did not notice? There is a poem by Roger Keys called “Hokusai Says“. Here is the beginning of the poem, you can google it and read the rest of it, maybe meditate on it:

“Hokusai says Look carefully

He says pay attention, notice

He says keep looking, stay curious

He says there is no end to seeing..”

anita

Dear Mak:

You are very welcome. You asked for advice on how to connect with yourself, or deepen your connection with yourself, and how to experience inner harmony. My advice, in line with what I suggested to you in my earlier reply is the following:

Whenever you feel disconnected- do not be alarmed, do not jump to the conclusion that you are an alien who exists on a different plane from all other people. Look around you, wherever you are, and observe other people, and/ or plants and animals, if you are not around people. See these other creatures as being on the  same plane as you, experiencing what you experience in one way or another, examples: thirst, hunger, and an innate instinct or desire to live.

Said in other words: whenever you feel disconnected from yourself—> connect with others.

Connecting with others will deepen your connection with yourself. Connecting with others and with yourself will bring you the inner harmony you desire.

anita