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Some advice needed

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  • November 27, 2014 at 7:02 am #68453
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey everyone!

    I love being part of this community. All of you have such positive energy and insight to go on with life. I really appreciate the thoughts shared in the forum and today, i want to ask about what i could do about my situation. Basically i am almost 23 years old – have just started a new postgrad program in a prestigious university and moved to a new city in the process. Before i venture into the problem, i would like to add that i have had bad depressive phases before and recurrent social anxiety – Over the last year, after a great deal of inner work, it has mostly become normal mood swings and no longer the disruptive types anymore.

    The thing is, i struggle with the future and the present. My present comprises of me finding my own apartment which i really love – it is my safe haven and really an expression of me to say the least. I feel more independent living alone but here’s the catch: University hasnt turned out too well – i havent been able to make friends there and most of the people who do turn up to class are kinda mean and juvenile in their ways. I have formed these conclusions after making a lot of effort to mingle with different people there but havent really found my types per say. I know that over time, it will all be fine. On top of that, lots of exams going on and the hunt for internships and job continues. Its been so stressful lately.

    Still, the problem is that i find my course work really boring and dont get along with my classmates much. Thankfully, i do have some wonderful close friends and an awesome boyfriend but sadly, they dont live nearby – very far off or inter-state. So isolation is turning out to be quite an issue lately despite the fact that i do indeed enjoy my space because i have introverted traits as well. At the moment, i wont be moving out in the next 2 years and honestly, i dont mind at all…my rent contract ensures that i cant get any room-mate though..Thankfully i do have some old friends living a bit far away in the same city. Next month, i have taken up volunteering activities to ensure i leave the house and see more people..sometimes it can feel really weird without them.

    Do you have any tips on managing oneself emotionally while living alone and managing all the stress? Sometimes when i slip into a bad mood, it gets hard to maintain the stuff which keeps me sane…

    Any thoughts would be appreciated 🙂

    Regards,
    Moon

    December 8, 2014 at 9:33 am #68915
    Lou
    Participant

    Hi, Moongal. It sounds as though you’re being really pro-active about this already! The volunteer work is a great idea, though don’t burn yourself out at the same time lol.

    Are there social groups at your university? Like, evening groups for people who share an interest to get together? Or could you start one? When meeting people who are interested in at least one mutual activity or topic I think you’re more likely to “click” and you don’t have to struggle for something to talk about.

    I’m sure you’ll get through it, you sound like a go-getting type of girl.

    Much luck! 🙂

    December 10, 2014 at 12:37 am #69030
    xWhy
    Participant

    Dear moon,
    You only have one problem, not a bunch if them. You need a hug. I don’t mean this in jest. Connection is the strongest factor in maintaining resilience and happiness (as well as mental health in general). Put every effort you can spare into making meaningful connections. Make sure you have touch in your life. If people are not touched, their light burns out. If you can get those connections started, the other stuff will fade. It sucks that you can’t give a hug through the internet (yet) but consider yourself hugged!

    December 10, 2014 at 5:18 am #69050
    Anyone
    Participant

    Just a question for you Moongal,

    Do you love yourself enough?

    Try to spend time in doing things that give you sense of fulfillment…it could be anything from watching tv to cooking or playing a sport… And when the mind runs crazy, try to focus on the present, see the brighter side and worry less about what will happen next. We all go through this anxiety. So, it’s OK.

    Fall in love with yourself and you’ll notice you’re growing stronger day by day! And the worries will eventually reduce.

    One thing I have learned of late is to consume and realize the bad mood fully and then let it go….Hope it helps….

    Stay Blessed 🙂

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