Hi Viviana,

It is very difficult to make a relationship work when meeting someone on line. I have tried this method several times, and it is always very complicated. There were many red flags in the beginning. First, I would never get into any type of romantic relationship with a man who lies. That is a big no-no. Once lying starts without therapy, it is hard to stop compulsive lying. The second red flag, his ex was still heavily involved in his life complicating things further, creating more lies and deception from him. The Third and biggest red flag is that he stated several times, he is not ready for a relationship. This does not look promising. You deserve better. A healthy, emotionally available, loving, honest and supportive man. Lose this loser. You are better than this. x

Hi Viviana,

Thank you for the compliment about my name, so cool we have the same ones! I don’t see any problem with wanting closure, but be careful with this. Many people think that ending communication will make the person change somehow, like “oh my gosh, I’m losing her! I better clean up my act, change, start testing her like gold, stop lying, stop communicating with my ex, stop sending mixed signals!!. However, this rarely happens, and wanting closure with someone thinking it might scare them to change is mute. They might for a little bit, but without therapy, only they can fix themselves, and and unfortunately they will go back to their old ways. I feel he treated you with dishonesty and disrespect, and I believe in Karma, in other words, no respect in return. Telling him, you no longer want communication with him, is kind of like saying “oh gosh..sorry..but this is not working out, and I wish you all the best” which is showing him respect. I feel he deserves no respect. No communication..in other words ghosting. No further contact. He deserves no “goodbyes, no closure, no nothing”. But if it gives you closure and makes you feel better, go ahead, but I would not give him the satisfaction of doing it in person, where he might talk you put of it. Just be brief and blunt and send a short e-mail. Once you end it, don’t respond back, no matter how “charming” he might try to be. x