Buttercup, perhaps you need to look at it as a learning curve – you have identified the problems before you move there for good which is a bonus! This means that when you do move you will know the areas that might cause you problems and you can look to sort them before they do.

On the subject of “running home” I feel you need to re-frame this – by labelling it as such you are viewing it in a negative light. You are recognising an issue with your health & wanting to fix it, don’t see that as a negative. Perhaps a more positive spin would be to see going home as the final stage in your plans to move. Return home to spend time with friends and family, sort out your visas and maybe look for work before you move for good. During this time you need to invest in yourself by getting the help you need in order to be well when you take that big step to relocate to be with your partner. You will not be able to do this successfully if you are unwell and do not have a support system there. Relying completely on him will put your relationship under unnecessary strain and ruin the amazing connection you have together.

If you seek help from a doctor, therapist or support group they will be able to help you find something similar in the place you are moving to in order for you to feel reassured in case of any recurring episodes once you have relocated. You will also have time to do more research on what would be available to you via the healthcare system in your new area.

You do not need to leave him. But you need to be well in this relationship for it to thrive and for your move to be successful in the long term. To do that you need to prepare the groundwork. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

Do not put yourself in a situation where you will feel isolated, unable to work, no access to transport, little money etc, etc. Take a little time to prepare your new life and the transition will be a lot easier. Explain to your partner that you want to move to live with him but you must sort some things out for yourself first to be truly happy and able to live well.

– Get help for your depression
– Ensure you are able to work in your new area
– Build social networks prior to moving, look up online forums for people that have already moved there from other areas for example or local social groups to do with a hobby you enjoy
– Research and understand the health system better including what help would be available to you
– Check out local depression support groups
– Find a therapist at home and ask them to help you find a good one in the area you are moving to
– Skype therapy can be an option if transport is a concern
– Above all communicate with your partner, be open and honest at all times

Take care xxx