My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me almost 8 weeks ago. We are both 23 and met in college.

The breakup itself was very tough. We live a half hour from each other but she was away for a few weeks seeing her family. Before she left she had actually talked about wanting to take a break to see other people (this was the 2nd time she brought this up, the first was maybe 6 months earlier. Her main reason was that she didn’t find me attractive the way she used to. It’s not that I wasn’t objectively handsome but that the spark just wasn’t there). Both times I wasn’t very receptive to the idea and instead pushed her to help me understand how I could do better. She would plead with me not to take it personally and say that it was her having the issues, not me. She would always say how she hoped we could be friends if things didn’t work out. However, before she left she assured me that she loved me/wanted to be with me and that I was her favorite person in the world.

Anyway, a week or so later she was half way across the world and called me up on Skype while I was at a soccer game to tell me it was over (she knew this, I had no idea it was going to be a serious conversation or wouldn’t have agreed to do it then). I went into a stairwell (this is a big, loud stadium) because it was the only relatively quiet place to talk and she proceeded to really let loose and blame everything on me, said she was never really happy with me, went after my masculinity calling me a momma’s boy, and essentially proclaimed that she was too good for me. In my desperation I begged her to consider but there was nothing I could do at that point. It was a really awful place to have such a conversation. It was like she had this prepared script and I was just trying to shield myself from the onslaught. There was no chance for me to offer up anything constructive.

Since then I only texted her once a few weeks after breakup (It was a random piece of gossip just meant to get her to respond, which she did. We then proceeded to ask each other how we were doing, etc). I don’t know what I was hoping for but the whole interaction seemed very superficial/fake friendly. Like I was just a friend she was catching up with. It made me feel like crap so I decided at that point to cut her off by removing her from my Snapchat. Evidently this bothered her as she texted me a week or so later saying how she was really bummed that I removed her but understood if I didn’t want to see or hear from her and said how she hoped I was doing well. I didn’t respond to her and since then there has been no interaction (That was over a month ago). I also went and blocked her on Instagram. I don’t know why but it bothered me that she kept liking my posts and viewing my Snap stories like she’s trying to keep tabs on me, and of course I have no interest in seeing what she’s up to because it would only hurt but apparently she wants to know what I’ve been doing. Not sure why this is.

Most people I talk to think I should just forget about her and move on because what she did is so shitty but for some reason I feel this need to seek her out and talk to her in person because the entire thing still feels so fake to me. It’s partly because it happened over Skype and partly because I never really got a chance to speak my mind and I don’t feel as if I got anything truthful from her either. It was just so cowardly of her to end it the way she did. Maybe I want to make it harder on her, make her say these things to my face. I don’t know. At the same time I know it could just put my back square one in my recovery if things don’t go well. Maybe I’m secretly hoping if I see her in person I could hit the right note and convince her to rethink her decision.