You could roll over and ‘give’ him what he wants, but you just laying there is not what he wants.
He wants the intimacy. You laying there and him doing his thing isn’t attractive at all. What you gave him is
an opportunity to loose his ‘pressure’ and go to sleep. He can do that on his own when you are not around.
He wants it to be you, and him. I think he just struggles emotionally. Doubting the fact if the fire is still present between you two.

You can say i love you, but for me personally, the intimacy is very important.
You need to give him some assurance that you’re really working on what your saying your working on.

I made that mistake myself and lost the girl of my life. She came to me with a problem. I Listened to her, and said i would put more effort in solving the problem. And it was all ‘good’ after. (They never forget!!) Then the next day i would work on the problem, maybe a little bit on the day after that. but then i just forgot about it.

Basically what im trying to say is, then you talk the talk, walk the walk.
You cant have a successful relationship without listening. Sometimes it takes a little work, sometimes it takes a lot of work. Practice what you preach, do in deeds what you claim in words.

I hope this helps.

Greetings.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by Jeroen.

Hey there,

Sorry to hear your recent situation’s been a rough one. I like Lucia’s advice above – asking for a list of things he DOES like about you. Not only will it remind him of why he’s in this, it will remind YOU of some good things about yourself, which it sounds like you need right now. It sounds to me like you’ve lost some self confidence and you are looking to him to give it to you. You need to find it within yourself. Maybe instead of HIM writing a list of things he likes about you, YOU just need to write a list to yourself of the things you love about you. Sound corny? Try it anyway. 🙂

If you know you have some issues to work on (passive aggression, being stubborn, etc.) then work on them because it will make YOU feel better. All the apologies and promises to do better sound to me like you are desperate to keep him with you. And that could be what’s driving him away. When we try to hold on to something (especially another person!) too tightly, they just want OUT. I think the most important thing you can do right now is just remind yourself what about YOU is unique and great.