I recommend the book “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving Paperback by David Richo

My thoughts on love

What role does love play in relationships? It sounds like a no brainer question but is it?
I have observed many relationships between two people who loved each other end, my own included, and wondered why

If Love is all that matters, all there is, love the only reality, a stronger force than anything else… what’s love got to do with it? Could it be that love sometimes requires two people to go in separate ways and if so why?

An examination of our experience of love reveals that it is a simple complex experience.

It seemed to me that part of the experience of loving and being loved involved qualities such as meaning and purpose. We want what we do, think and feel to matter and make a difference to those we love and our experience of the world. We are pushed to become.

For there to be meaning and purpose in our lives we need to add quality of responsibility, accountability, boundaries… to the experience of love.

Sometimes It seems to me that a relationship of love unlocks the potential being of the other but that then points them to different paths in order for their becoming and experiences of meaning and purpose. LOVE requiring a relationship to end so that both parties may move forward on their journey of becoming.

Often this happens as unconsciously and then we start to create experiences so our partner fails us in some why so that we can then move on. Maybe we cheat and force our partner to make the decision for us… Sometimes we have to learn the hard way… love requires that we get to be held accountable for our actions, the good and the bad (or there can be no meaning and purpose to our love)

What’s love got to do with it? Everything.
Love wants us to become and sometimes that means LOVE requires a relationship to change.