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should i carry on ???

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  • August 17, 2017 at 10:21 pm #164522
    Alien incident47
    Participant

    The trust is not broken,  it’s gone , that the she swallowed pills says she is controlling you. “If I cant have you then I will harm myself ” . How do you plan on having a relationship with no trust , she broke it , sure you had good times its why you were together for a period of time. But did she remember the good times when she cheated ?  Sometimes you got to cut your losses and go . And on anther note the fact she tried hurting her self because you are leaving,  that’s also abuse

    August 18, 2017 at 10:54 am #164596
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear keith:

    If indeed you believe that your girlfriend is a sociopath, and that “Sociopaths lie about everything and everything” as you stated at the beginning of your post, then when “she says she will never lie again”, which you stated at the end of your post, she was lying.

    Are you not sure about your beginning-of-post evaluation that she does and will “lie about everything and everything”?

    anita

    August 18, 2017 at 5:28 pm #164640
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Keith,

    I’m sorry you are having to go through this. I see alot of red flags in your post. The first: once trust is broken, it is almost impossible to get it back. Resentment sets in, and you are left always doubting her, the relationship, whether she is with other men on “what’s App”.  This builds and builds, it’s a vicious cycle and destroys a relationship.

    The 2nd: the lying and manipulation on her part. Again, if you stayed with her, you would most likely not be happy in the long run, as she does not sound emotionally stable or available for a long term commitment.

    3. You both seem to be long distance, relying on Social media as a form of communication. She enjoys the attention of other men on “What’s App”. It does not sound like she is going to change, wants to be in a stable, long term committed relationship. Only she can change if she truly wants, you can’t fix her, yo you deserve better, a stable loving woman who knows what she wants, who is healthy, honest and happy.

    August 18, 2017 at 6:08 pm #164642
    keith
    Participant

    Thanks !!!

    For taking the time to reply …

    @ alien u right it’s impossible doing this without trust and since the last post have confronted her with several other issues which at first she denies and once I tell her how I know she ” confesses ” and swears never to lie again :).

    Even though she is a Doctor and knew the pills she was taking were harmless to her it’s the motive that’s appaling ..


    @anita     for the last 3 years before this there was no need for me

    To suspect her so I never did dwell on stuff, now that I am visiting her most of my doubts and concerns of her Lying have been answered, which is a pathalogial liar and does anything to protect her lies until I give her evidence ..u know how it is I want to beleive her but after these couple of days since I last posted she has lied to me again several times and the same trend …

    To answere your question yes now in retrospect I do think she has huge issues liar / manuplarivr and does not have a concious

    @ Eliana all your points make perfect sense and really thanks for taking the time , for the record she has and promised me she wants to Change but how can I beleive her …

    Will update

    August 19, 2017 at 6:49 am #164658
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Keith,

    Do you know if she had a traumatic or dysfunctional childhood? Sometimes unresolved issues from a vet traumatic childhood can manifest itself into adulthood, causing defense mechanisms we used as children, but we still use them in our adulthood, but they no longer work. Pathological lying, can stem from defense mechanisms that were put in place in childhood, and it is an unconscious act that follows us in to adulthood unfortunately if left unresolved.

    Has she tried Psychotherapy to get to the root of the problem? The lying is a symptom of an underlying mental illness or personality disorder and will not go away with being screened for mental illness and professional treatment.

    August 19, 2017 at 9:10 am #164682
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Keith:

    When a woman (and medical doctor) “has huge issues liar / manipulative and does not have a conscious”- it is not a good thing to be her patient; it is not a good thing to be her boyfriend; it is not a good thing to … have anything to do with her, isn’t it?

    I mean, it is no way to live, challenging what she says to you, looking for evidence, bringing the evidence to her, again and again, until she … confesses. Then again, the same.

    anita

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