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Sharing my pain

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • November 11, 2017 at 5:57 pm #177713
    Paul
    Participant

    I’m 49 years old, I live with pain everyday! Somedays are worse then others and some are the absolute misery….I have had both hips replaced at 43, I have stenosis, eroding discs, nerve pain, and 6-8 rather large sized bone spurs in my back..my knees are not far away from getting replaced..I suffer everyday!! I know you all have or still feel this kind of pain..like when the nurse asked you your pain scale and you say 15…I can take pain I played football till I dislocated my hip my sophomore year in college roughly playing football for 12 years..there wasn’t the standards today when I played football…I ran restaurants and worked in them for 25 years..I’m on disability now, I do not abuse it. I’m at a point in my life where I never sleep, I suffer with pain and yet I see doctors I don’t get enough medicine to get me threw a month! I keep it locked up in a safe, I don’t drink or smoke or use any illegal drugs, and I don’t abuse my medicine..with the way things are today I agree with how they monitor narcotic medicine…but I also believe they see it as a black vs white situation. But there are people out there who play by the rules and there is a gray area..I’m sure you know what I mean! All of this being said..I have a beautiful angel like wife who I don’t feel I deserve at all…shes my whole world and my 2 girls as well.. the sun sets and rises with them..being in pain is horrible, I cry in front of my wife sometimes and my children have caught me as well..I’ve tried to hide my pain, but after all the doctor appts my wife know everything… everyday I do whatever I can in the house, and I feel I’m a great father and husband..I feel like I’m alone non the less! I carry it around daily, I cry alone, I ice my body, I use whatever I can over the counter to survive..lately I fear and I’m very afraid of wondering thoughts I have of not being part of this world ..I would never do anything to hurt myself but I can’t take the pain every second, of every minute, of every hour of the day! I don’t feel like doctors care as much as they use too or are just afraid people use medicine in the wrong way.. I have never put these thoughts in writing, I know I’m not alone out there, you all suffer as much as I do and more! I hope this isn’t long winded or stupid! I just would like help from others to talk to and or know their coping skills…thank you for taking the time to read this.

    November 11, 2017 at 7:06 pm #177717
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Paul, I’m so sorry for your pain. This is not my area of expertise as far as your medical issues, but I do have a friend that was in severe pain for two years. She went to a special program at Stanford for pain management using a mental process instead of drugs. Check to see if this info might help. https://stanfordhealthcare.org/medical-clinics/pain-management/programs-services.html

    I applaud your efforts to be present and loving to your wife and girls. Don’t worry about shielding them from your condition, but I agree it is protective to cry in private. They love you. They want 5he best for you. Please do not lose hope. Try (if possible) to compartmentalize the pain so you can free up a space for hope. All is not lost.

    I do know many people with your problems but none with all of them! I can’t even imagine. Again this is not my expertise, but these questions come to mind: Have you asked about a nerve block? Have you had spine surgery? Stenosis, herniated disks and spurs can be greatly improved. Have your doctors tried a Medral does pack (short dose steroids)? Do you take supplements? Ask your doctor if high dose vitamins d3 would help/be safe. Also for your knees ask about synovisc injections. Arthroscopic surgery can help a lot to delay replacement.

    Sending you a gentle hug and best wishes for healing.

    November 12, 2017 at 12:27 am #177725
    Paul
    Participant

    I appreciate your kind words, I would never insult any forum without first exchausting everything available to me :  medicine,  nerve medicine, depression meds, physical therapy to last two people a lifetime.. knee/ hip injections,and now my personal favorite I’m on my final back epideral injection on November 20… after that I have a scheduled appointment for a back surgeon.. I have had both hips replaced  but I’m a little nervous about any augury on my back.. but me and my wife will see I suppose.. I also have added a psychitrist to help me deal with depression created by pain and a therapist!  All of this has been demanding on my family and myself! I would think if I didn’t exhausted everything medically available to me…I would be basically a complete whiner…plus honestly as much as people make a big deal out of it… I’m not the biggest fan of taking all this medicine! Again I appreciate your kind words and the most important thing is I would never ever be able to do half these things without the love and support of my wife and children….when you have chronic pain it’s not just hard on myself but just as hard on the people around me! My wife again is angel/ saint like..she has seen me at my best and absolute worst.. and along the way makes me feel like I the most impotant person in the world!

     

    November 12, 2017 at 12:32 am #177727
    Paul
    Participant

    Sorry about the spelling, I’m polish and suck at typing! And being polish I have the typical sausage fingers that associate the horrible typing skills on my phone!

    November 12, 2017 at 3:34 am #177731
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Paul:

    It is heart breaking to read about your pain. I am so sorry that this is your reality. And all this is a result of playing football for twelve years? I wonder if you were injured playing football, then continued to play in spite of the injuries… what was the progression of injuries and playing during those twelve years?

    Did doctors during those twelve years suggest you stop playing…?

    I was wondering, when having chronic physical pain as you do, and from multiple locations in your body.. do you feel the pain every second or are there breaks, seconds or minutes when you don’t feel any pain?

    anita

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