Dear Rosie:

Children believe what their parents tell them, even when you see reality now somewhat, for example, you see that it was not your job to raise your brother when you were a child yourself, part of you still believes that it was, that his drug trouble was your responsibility to solve because they told you so, or suggested to you that it is so.

You wrote that you feel guilty because your parents have no one else- I agree, they don’t have someone else to abuse and to benefit from said abuse. It is as if… as if they invested in taking unfair advantage of you, of misusing you, and it is right that they rip the benefits of their work.

Well, it is not right.

You wrote: “we (your brother and you) were latchkey kids. My parents focused on their business and financial security at the  consequence of me taking the role as mother to my brother”- well, let them  enjoy that financial security now.

It was not your role to be your brother’s mother then and it is not your role now to do anything but live your life the way that will benefit you, the way that promotes your well being. I hope your action plan works for you, that the counseling you attend is of quality and will indeed benefit you, that you evaluate and re-evaluate your action plan over time to see what works and what does not work, make the changes that need to be made.

Post again anytime.

anita