Home→Forums→Relationships→sex addict husband…trying to move on. .
- This topic has 3 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 10 years ago by
anne.
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March 30, 2015 at 2:12 pm #74683
Kori Elizabeth
ParticipantAmcar77,
First, what a strong woman you are. I was born to a teen mother and I have always bragged about the strength and courage it takes to make that work. When it comes to your marriage, I am so sorry. I am going through a divorce myself and almost every day some type of feelings of resentment come boiling back. The truth for me is found in forgiveness. You may never understand why he did what he did and you may never understand why he is choosing to leave. You can however, choose to not let him continue to control your life with his bad decisions. I read recently that when we forgive others, we are choosing to not be the victim of their actions and move on. It comforted me in the fact that I don’t want to be a victim, I am stronger than that and I feel that you are too.
The future is scary and adding kids and money issues into that mix is terrifying. Truth is, you will find a way. The universe will unfold as it should, maybe this is your new chance at a beautiful life.
You are loved.
<3 Kori
March 31, 2015 at 2:09 am #74713Will
ParticipantWhat a beautiful response, Kori.
I, too, wish you well. It may help you to consider your hatred as the twisted outgrowth of something else you mentioned: you’re terrified of what the future hold. You don’t know how you’ll manage. That’s not just a tough situation to be in practically (and it certainly is, and I hope and trust you’ll find ways to make it work) but a vulnerable position to be in emotionally. Much easier to be in a state of rage, because rage feels active and hatred is self-satisfying, even if they are both ultimately painful emotions.
So you’re now in a state of “It’s all his fault.” And I want to make clear that I don’t take issue with that statement: it may very well be all his fault. But being in a place of all his fault doesn’t leave you with anything to do. You’re giving away your power.
It’s not going to be easy, but you may be able to grow from a place of all his fault to a different place: I can do this. From I hate that man to I love my children, and even though I don’t know how right now, I know I will fight for them to have a good life.
I wish you and your children health and happiness. Keep turning away from him, and back to you and yours. You can do this.
March 31, 2015 at 12:45 pm #74724anne
ParticipantThank you both for taking the time to respond. Both of your words were of a comfort to me and also speak the truth. It is so true that feeling angry is easier than feeling scared. Written so plainly it is easy to see. And Lori you last sentence was a hug in words. Onwards and upwards! I did it when I was 16 with less, so I’m sure I can do it now!
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