Hello Andre,

I agree with what Debb says. I’m just an ordinary housewife so I am by no means an expert in these situations, but it does seem it would be helpful to you if you set yourself some clear boundaries.

Can I suggest that you do some reading on the Captain Awkward website. http://captainawkward.com/

Captain Awkward is a women who writes brilliant advice about setting boundaries. The basis of her thinking is that we feel awkward standing up for ourselves and having emotionally difficult conversations, because we are taught that this isn’t polite or what nice people do. This is not emotionally healthy for us or for others. She writes great advice about changing this behaviour and even provides word for word ‘scripts’ that you can use when you are standing up for yourself.

Reading between the lines of your post, I have made an assumption. I am assuming that you feel a little guilty for having boundaries. Is that correct? If so, you shouldn’t. You have a right to your feelings and to be treated with respect. You are the master of your own time and it is up to you who you choose to spend it with, or how you choose to spend it. Captain Awkward is a great reader on that subject too!

Having read your comment it also seems to me that you are really burning the candle at both ends. I understand that your education is expensive and you need to work but is there anyway you can cut down on some of your commitments? You must be exhausted dealing with all of this emotional difficulty while doing all of this work.

I wish you well.