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- This topic has 1,633 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 4 months ago by Cali Chica.
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April 10, 2019 at 10:09 am #288505Cali ChicaParticipant
Dear Anita,
I do, because my mom said I should be, that all the other kids on tv and these newspapers are not even talented or pretty, but they have good luck.
because wedon’t have good luck it is hard for me to get there, like them.
but if i was on it, my mom would be so happy. my mom would be so proud and happy.
April 10, 2019 at 10:17 am #288509AnonymousGuestDid your mom tried to have you be on TV, did she take you to auditions?
anita
April 10, 2019 at 10:22 am #288513Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
not me, but my sister. We didnt go when I was young because my mom didn’t know that much about America and how to do that stuff. But now she learned more. So she takes my sister. Which is good – She is very talented. An amazing dancer and singer. She brought her to some auditions in NYC. She always comes home and says how it is so hard and people with luck and connections get ahead.
She put both of us in dance classes. We love to dance. My sister is so good, and my Mom always says how she can be a star. I have fun doing it too but I’m not as serious about it. I have a lot of friends at dance class.
April 10, 2019 at 10:27 am #288515Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
come to think of it, i notice how when I watch tv – i see if the actress is not that good, sometimes i even think maybe i should be on it instead, because i am smarter and better. when i watch tv with my mom, indian shows -she says how someone like me would be a better actress on it, but in order to be, you have to go to India and have a lot of connections.
April 10, 2019 at 10:46 am #288521AnonymousGuestYou and your sister are talented, worthy of being stars on TV, but no luck. How does it feel, to not have luck, but others have luck. Not you, not your mother, not your sister.. but others have luck, how does it feel?
anita
April 10, 2019 at 10:52 am #288523Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
It feels bad! It feels unfair. There is no reason others should have luck. The people who do less, and have less good, have more luck!
it makes me annoyed, but then sometimes, my dad says no matter what, we have to work hard, because we have to work hard to our potential and talent. so i do work hard, and I make sure to always.
April 10, 2019 at 10:56 am #288527AnonymousGuestIf you are very nice to lucky people, if you play with them and are very nice to them, do you catch their luck, can you take some of their luck for yourself?
anita
April 10, 2019 at 10:59 am #288533Cali ChicaParticipantNo way! This is not something that can be caught. Some people have luck and some people don’t. That’s just how it is.
April 10, 2019 at 11:07 am #288539AnonymousGuestAre you envious of people who have luck, are you angry at them?
anita
April 10, 2019 at 11:22 am #288551Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
my mom says we are not jealous of other people we are happy for them – but they aren’t happy for other people, because they are bad
sometimes I get annoyed because why do those people have good luck and get to be lucky and we don’t. Maybe just the way we are born. What a shame. Sometimes I get sad about it too
April 10, 2019 at 11:38 am #288555AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica (the adult):
Not long ago you went on and on to a couple of friends about how wonderful it was that they were moving to Florida. You acted happy for them, not jealous, just like your mother taught you (“my mom says we are not jealous of other people we are happy for them”)-
– but were you jealous, envious of their good luck?
anita
April 10, 2019 at 11:40 am #288559Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
great question. I wasn’t jealous. As I don’t actually want the outcome they have. It isn’t something spectacular to me – but I am happy for them as it is their choice. but here’s the thing, I am so used to sensationalizing the good outcomes of others – and making it more than it truly is. Like when my mother would go on and on about how some lucky kid will end up on TV zone day and not me.
It is a habit. And it happens even when I don’t truly want what that person has. If that makes sense.
April 10, 2019 at 12:02 pm #288565AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
It is this time of the day again when I am less focused, particularly for our intense work, as it is intense for me. As I ask the young CC questions I remain open to the answers, I intend to not be invested in a desired answer, I don’t want to have an answer in mind, for a question I ask..
I explore with her, go here and there, wherever it may be.
This habit you mentioned, your mother going “on and on about how some lucky kid will end up on TV zone day and not me”- when you have the time, will you type away what she said, not verbatim if you don’t remember word by word, of course, but let your fingers type what she said.
And then, when you are done, will you type what you said to that couple going to Florida?
anita
April 11, 2019 at 7:16 am #288685Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
his habit you mentioned, your mother going “on and on about how some lucky kid will end up on TV zone day and not me”- when you have the time, will you type away what she said, not verbatim if you don’t remember word by word, of course, but let your fingers type what she said. And then, when you are done, will you type what you said to that couple going to Florida?
Part one:
my mother would say, oh look at our neighbor she’s pretty. she’s white and her mom brings her to auditions. you know that? every saturday she goes to nyc for auditions, how amazing, she’s going to be on tv one day.
it is hard for me to explain it with words, but I want to explain it by creating the ambience/painting the picture:
my mother is sitting there with me, I am wide eyes and intensely listening. she is painting this picture, this caucasian neighbor, young girl my age, sitting at home in the lap of privilege – so lucky she is, getting whisked away to nyc auditions, how glamorous how lucky. making it on tv one day – how simple and easy! it just works for her doesn’t it! look at that
and conversely me, sitting at home in despair, looking out the window – hoping and dreaming and wishing – oh if only! if only i could be so lucky like my neighbor. but alas, I can not, I do not have this luck. it is not my fate.
part 2:
i said wow, that’s amazing you got these great jobs! i’m so happy for you -florida will be great, it is such a better place to practice medicine, and you will be so relaxed.
now, more importantly to my husband: wow look how lucky they are. nyc medicine sucks! the treatment of doctors here. florida theyre going to have such a better life. how good for them!!
April 11, 2019 at 10:32 am #288711AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
Basically, no matter what, you are unlucky, this is your fate. Nothing you can do about it. I suppose you have a touch of luck, it being that your skin and eyes are of a lighter color, but a touch of luck can carry you only so far, not far at all.
Oh, how great other people’s lives are, the lucky ones, something you can never have.. and yet, your father says, “no matter what, we have to work hard.. to our potential and talent”, so you work hard, “make sure to always (work hard)”, spinning your wheels in place, on the same old unlucky place.
In other words, no matter what you do, sitting in Paris, touring South Africa.. no matter the trip to Peru and other places years ago, no matter the prestigious title of Doctor in front of your father’s name, and your own, and your husband.. nothing matters, it is always other people who are lucky, who have the good lives.
All you can do is be happy for them, oh how wonderful for them to have something I can never have.
And it is not that you came to this conclusion by yourself, based on your own life experience over time. She handed this experience to you as you sat there with her, “wide eyes and intensely listening”.
Young Cali Chica is “sitting at home in despair, looking out the window- hoping and dreaming and wishing- oh if only! if only I could be so lucky”-
– what would happen then, little Cali Chica, what would life be if you were lucky, tell me?
anita
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