Dear Anita,

my cousins and aunts and uncles are bad to us – they are mean and put my mom and dad down.  they have jealousy of us.

it is weird because when I go to my cousins house, I have so much fun playing with her, but I also know they are not good people.

sometimes my mom is happy to go there, because their apartment is SO SO much more fun than our house (no one plays outside that much where i live).  she likes to go there because it reminds her of India and there is so many people outside and hustle and bustle – good energy she says

but other times when we come home, after being there, she says how much her sister (my aunt) puts her down and taunts her. taunting is when they put you down and make fun of you.  then i think they are bad people, even though i have fun with them.

maybe we shouldn’t talk to them that much then Anita.

—-now I am a little older so 8-12 or so…

i go to my other aunt’s house. she is fat and always cooks. she always talks about how her cooking is so good.  my mom told me thats all she knows how to do all day – just cook cook cook.

she wants me to eat her dish that she said she made so good, and i tried it and i didn’t like it.  i didn’t want to compliment her on it – all my other cousins did they said ‘oh wow this tastes so good, wow you are an amazing cook.”

I didn’t because they are bad people, so they don’t deserve that.  I told my mom later that I didn’t and she was glad, it seemed she was proud that I saw that my aunt is bad and she doesn’t need to be told her food is good! (when its bad anyway!))

Dear Anita,

when you see your aunt and she speaks to you, what do you feel, what do you say to her? What do you want to say or do but can’t, because your mother will not approve?

I want to say, shut up! be quiet you are dumb and bad, and you are so mean to us and my mom.  I want to say that you have jealousy and that is bad.  and that people should be good to each other.  i want to say that my mom and dad do so much for you, my dad always gives everyone medicine, and treats them as patients without taking any money and never asking for anything – and all they do is act mean to us.

Dear Anita,

I stay quiet with the adults a lot, and go play with my cousins.  because we have fun playing. I don’t really say much to the older people, i don’t know why maybe because my mom always says “what we say in the house is secret between us, and don’t tell anybody.” and she says “when they ask you questions that are personal, don’t give information away.”

we are supposed to not let them know stuff about our life, because they have jealousy and they may try to ruin things.

Dear Anita

What we say in the house is secret between us, and don’t tell anybody”- – is it just you and her when she tells you things that are a secret? Who is in it together, the secret?

Our family, we talk about this at dinner a lot.  About our family and how bad they are.  So we are all in on the family secrets, myself, mom, dad, my sister is young.

Things like lets say we are gonig on a vacation, we don’t want them to know or else they will get jealousy – how sad right Anita. so my mom says if they ask what we are doing for Christmas, I should say I don’t know.  It is better this way, because they leave us out of Christmas anyway – so we can go and have fun on our own, instead of sitting at home alone just us.

Dear Anita,

i think my dad is bad.

i know he is nice to me sometimes, and we have fun sometimes. but i think my dad is bad.  he always gets angry

Dear Anita,

my mom and I are good.  My sister is young, she is good, but maybe I am better than her, because my mom always talks about how I am special.   she says my sister is well behaved ,and that I wasn’t when i was young – but she always says how I am most special.

i am good.  sometimes because I am good, people have jealousy of me.

Dear Anita,

Well people say I am most special because I was born like a beautiful doll they say. Beautiful eyes, and light skin (indian people love light skin) and when I go to India people talk about this over and over, every single day – that I could be on TV and this and that. sometimes in India when i am walking on the street people stop my mom and tell her how beautiful I am

i think my mom thinks i am most special because of this, and because her and I always talk – she says she doesn’t have anyone else except me sometimes – and that I always give her company