Dear Cali Chica:

I wasn’t aware of your yesterday’s morning post. When you submit a post, check if it is your name that shows under the list of Topics. When it doesn’t show I often don’t know that you submitted a new post because it looks like I was the last to submit. What I do when my name doesn’t show after submitting is to add a new post: “didn’t reflect under Topics”.

Regarding your most recent post, notice that SCC, the drive to be super or perfect includes your work on the healing path, meaning when you tend to be harsh on yourself when you don’t do the healing work perfectly. And it can’t be done quickly and perfectly- it is impossible.

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

Yes, let yourself be, meaning you don’t have to always help yourself, you can relax and focus only on do-no-harm-

not to others and not to yourself.

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

Same as do no harm to others: when you harm your husband you also harm yourself, it causes you to feel badly about yourself, your own progress. I suppose you harm yourself in all the ways that you do: overreaching to others, and so forth.

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

We are social animals, born that way, born empathetic and unless and until we lose all that empathy, when we hurt another person we feel badly. We have an inborn need to be good people, to help others, to  cooperate with others for the benefit of all.

Looking forward to read about the ways you harm yourself, whenever you are ready.

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

I don’t now if you want my input as you do this exercise, assuming their exercise is still in progress. Do you?

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

There needs to be a balance between personal responsibility and social responsibility.

Both responsibilities are personal because we need society for our personal well being, similar to an elk needing the herd for its personal well being, locating feeding areas, protection from predators and the cold.

The balance is about seeing to it that most of our attending to others (social responsibility) does benefits us.

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

I don’t understand your question, the last line, can you restate?

anita

Dear Cali Chica:

Social interactions that benefit you, examples:

1. Working for an income, a paycheck.

2. Promoting your chances of a double income: yours and your husband’s by not attacking him, by providing him with safety in the relationship with him. This will decrease the statistical chances that he will get sick or will suffer accidents, get disabled or lose his life altogether as a result of elevated anxiety-

as well as decreasing the chances that he will make significant mistakes at work and lose his license or his reputation.

That’s all  I have in mind at the moment, being in the process of losing my focus, but may have more examples when I return to the computer in about sixteen hours. There is a chance I will  be back in a few hours for a short time. Hope to read from you when I am back so to explore this topic further.

anita