Dear Anita,

I have been focusing on the “small” picture a lot recently.  I do not judge that.  Yet, I am back to seeing the big picture.

I know exactly why N affected me so much, and you helped me see.  It is the shame and guilt I hold, and the resentment for others who do not.  I see that instead of forcing myself to try to be this way, or accepting these types – at this point of my life, on the path.  I choose simply to not provide these types with any of my good energy.  I am okay and confident in this.

I thought about you a lot last night, and told my husband how instrumental you have been in my journey.  I even joked that he would be lucky to have a connection with someone like you as well.

Dear Anita,

Oh I would love that! That brings tears to my eyes. And I will look up this restaurant! Oh Anita how lucky I am to have “met” you!

Dear Anita,

Yes it shall! October is my birthday – it will be the best birthday present!

Dear Anita,

My husband is glad to hear that you (and your husband) would like to meet us later in the year.  It is delightful.

How is your leg? Did you get some rest? Are you able to do some activities that help it, such as stretching, heat, ice?

Do you want to know something funny, N texted me yesterday – I could feel the urgency in her text, but covered up as caring and fun.  Wanting to make plans with me because she was available and close by, and wanting me to meet her “glorious” bf so I can see how happy she is. to show him how she is so popular.

Persistent, and direct – even when I told her this week was not good for me. Yup, that’s N.

And this is what’s funny – I looked at the text, and simply put my phone away.  I didn’t remember it until this morning. That’s it. And that’s how it goes doesn’t it Anita.  Once we process the reason why things irk us – they can slowly float away, not having as much of a grip on us.  Others only have power over us when we let them.  Often when we are confused and misunderstanding of our own root.  When we conquer the fear and confusion in our OWN selves, we can see the clarity of others – and we observe it – we don’t jump into it. We sit back…

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by Cali Chica.

Dear Anita,

Exactly, it is all about using people for N, and like personalities. And I do (and always had) better things to do with my time, but now more than ever.  The difference now is that I am empowered in my own ability to make such a choice.

I do agree in some cases, walking and getting some blood flow (gently) does promote healing, and helps things be less “stiff.” But take it easy, especially in the cold.

I am a vegetarian, and my husband is not.  I would still be happy to go there! And I know my husband would enjoy it. Yes would be happy to meet you in NYC, or elsewhere, whenever it works out for all of us.

Dear Anita,

Downtown Manhattan! How fun! Must have been an interesting time.  NYC it is.  Look forward to planning in the future.

I started a new job in NYC 2 weeks ago, as you know.

Interestingly, there is a new opportunity in the area (near my apartment in fact) that would involve some leadership, and directorship.  Although I am young in my career, they are considering me as a strong candidate – which is pretty incredible.  I interviewed with some of the senior physicians this week.

It hasn’t progressed to the point that I am “choosing” between jobs – Yet a lot comes to mind.

Option A, current job, has better hours, and no “work to bring home.” I go to work, I come home.  I can attend to things in my personal life without thought about the job – when I get home.

Option B, is a leadership position, so as a result, you are quite involved with the practice and the department.  I will be involved with work after hours, whether its management of individuals, or larger aspects.  Option B is a stepping stone for career advancement perhaps.

two similar but different options, and different packages too, as a result – to a point.

I do wonder how all of this will play out.  I am grateful to have such opportunities.  I do know the universe knows I have talents and abilities to engage with people in ways that are unique, and thus, I am well suited for the leadership aspect of a position.

Dear Anita,

My thoughts exactly.  I am not someone who enjoys or craves idle time, and am an excellent multi-tasker. but that can lead me to get involved with people like my sister or N, because I make sure I am using my time to do things. I can be served by the extra “work at home” because it is being busy with nonsense vs. busy with leadership and growth!

Dear Anita,

Interesting timing.  The job requires me to exert a lot of effort on behalf of the practice, managing, directing, marketing etc.

As much as I feel I have the skills for it, i notice that my inclination is to utilize those skills more for a personal endeavor.  For so long I have wanted to start a wellness center, to treat patients from the inside to out.  Utilize my understanding of the mind and body.  With my current job I have the ability to seek such endeavors during down time.  And I do hope to in time.

It looks like option B is starting to look like an endeavor that will not be a win-win.  I am glad I had the opportunity to explore.