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- This topic has 1,633 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 4 months ago by Cali Chica.
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June 6, 2019 at 9:53 am #297689Cali ChicaParticipant
Dear Anita,
You are right as ever. During this post I felt tenderness for myself, for myself the social being. Cali Chica social butterfly, I felt a love for it – not a hate for it like I did this morning when I first wrote.
And – more importantly – I felt a true sweet affection and tenderness for you – a genuine smile on myself when I read:
but I go there with my own wine treat, wine with orange slices squeezed in
OH how I love this! How charming, and amazing! Showing up their with your own treat! What a beautiful thing, I commend you.
Oh how I wish I could meet you there on Friday. Talking about the food or the weather – or talking about the tragedy of our mothers! or anything in between – we would have a great time – of this I am sure.
June 6, 2019 at 10:13 am #297691AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
A big smile on my face as I am typing and the first one today! Yes, I would have loved it if you were here, in this place I go to, I can see you there, imagine it now, yes, drinking red wine (they do serve red wine there, only it is not doable for me to prepare my treat there with their wine). So yes, I see you there, this young looking, vibrant woman with smooth brow hair and green eyes, so very pretty, yes, I can see that.
anita
June 6, 2019 at 10:15 am #297693Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
I see us there, and I smile. You want to know why?
Not because the great red wine treat (oh it is a treat, nice deep wine with citrus burst)
Not because we are on the outskirts of this cool city, so different than NYC.
But because this connection of ours, this friendship – oh it is so special – so very special, unlike any other relationship in my life.
A smile that we can not even contain!
June 6, 2019 at 10:22 am #297695AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
Goosebumps have just been added to my smile. This kind of communication right here, this exchange of affection, oh my goodness how very uncomfortable that used to be for me, the prospect of it, as it wasn’t really executed before, a simple, calm, easy exchange of affection.
It’s the softness that has been associated with so much pain, so the softness has been rejected because it got associated with hurt and anger and fear.
So now, a comfortable exchange of a soft feeling. This is special, yes it is!
anita
June 6, 2019 at 10:44 am #297697Cali ChicaParticipantAnita,
dare I say it?
the word. Ok I will.
We are lucky. To have that connection. Yes LUCKY!
this word has so many icky connotations. The mother voice saying luck luck!! Oh we have. I luck! Others have the luck. Oh my.
But when I read your last post the first thing that came to my mind intuitively and innately was : we are lucky, that in this world we live in a world of today that we can find a connection like ours across the country, not having even ever met. For this I am grateful, and appreciative, and yes also yes…. lucky.
June 6, 2019 at 10:55 am #297699AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
We get to redefine words such as luck and love. We never met in person but I can see you from here, hear you and I know so much about you, past and present. And you know much about me too. We are not two abstracts, but real people behind these typed words.
In this longest thread, we formed a connection and even affection, something special. For as long as you want this connection, I do too.
anita
June 6, 2019 at 11:04 am #297701Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
you are right we get to redefine words like luck and love. Wow – we do. We sure do. I get to redefine : what is luck to ME. What is love To ME?
perfect words for me this afternoon. I will sink and savor these words – and keep them close to my heart throughout the interactions that I have pending for the remainder of the day (many different types await)
I will report back and let you know – what if anything came to mind. In this regard – my ability, and right to redefine… 🙂
talk to you later Anita- I will write first thing tomorrow morning – and will look forward to your response as always.
June 6, 2019 at 11:19 am #297703AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
Sink and savor and write to me when you will, tomorrow morning will be fine with me. Sunny here today, a nice sunny day.
I am looking forward to read from you about the many types of interactions in the rest of your afternoon when you are back here!
anita
June 7, 2019 at 6:34 am #297791Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
I had many interactions yesterday. Some more with patients, uneventful for the most part. I then met with someone who I now consider somewhat of a mentor. She is in the wellness industry from a non medical side (more fitness and marketing etc)
We had a good positive talk. Yes, I feel lucky to have her – someone to bounce ideas off – and that can help me navigate the world of entrepreneurship/wellness. One step at a time of course.
i thought about redefining: luck and love
How I have had love and luck around me my whole life – I have been “lucky” in that way (for lack of a better term).
I have had luck and love around me, but unable to receive that love and appreciate it – to focused on the hate, that mother taught. Not even knowing I was doing this of course. Thinking gosh theres no love or luck, sigh. But in fact having it all around me, but being blind.
Even present day with my husband – a good example of having difficulty accepting and receiving love – and of course even more difficult to GIVE love.
June 7, 2019 at 7:20 am #297805AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
I am glad you have a friend whom you see as a mentor regarding your Wellness Center plan.
“even more difficult to GIVE love”- my former therapist taught me the principle of doing-the-opposite. Let’s say you sit with your husband and you definitely don’t feel like holding his hand/ touching him. Do the opposite means do it anyway, take his hand in yours. Or turn toward him and touch his face with your hand, gently. As you do pay attention to how it feels. It works long term, try it, if you haven’t so far, and you will see yourself!
anita
June 7, 2019 at 8:29 am #297823Cali ChicaParticipantdear Anita,
You are right – I was given this advice a long time ago – and i have done it – more often than not.
It’s like “go through the motions even if you don’t feel like it, and you will still notice a positive benefit.”
I do agree. And it takes practice – action, positive reaction (in yourself and the other person) and then more ingrained positive practice over time that may lead to pattern.
I wonder if you will be going to your brewery this evening, a nice summer Friday night. Do they have outdoor seating? that is my favorite thing in the summer. Sit outside in the sun with a friend, drink and talk for perhaps even hours. Time passes by, so many topics, so many laughs.
It feels like therapy sometimes! With the right person, and right environment.
I am lucky to have these interactions quite often – yes I will use the word lucky.
To live in a great city, to enjoy summer, and to have good friends/colleagues that I can have fun, real conversation, and learn from and also simply laugh with.
June 7, 2019 at 8:58 am #297833AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
I was never at the brewery at night or when it is dark. I am there in the afternoons and back home at about 6 pm or before. (It gets dark here at this time of the year about 9 pm). It does have an outside seating arrangement with umbrellas, very nice. My favorite place to sit is by the counter facing the servers, I get to interact with them as well as with the regulars who also sit there. Get to see the newcomers ordering their beers and so forth. Also, it is a very dog friendly place, dogs always there.
anita
June 7, 2019 at 9:13 am #297835Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
This reads to me when I was in Portland Oregon years ago. Beautiful scenery and breweries, dog friendly. I recall being at such a place.
I too, love sitting at bars and restaurants at the counter/bar. Often chatting with the servers when they are maknig drinks, and yes, seeing people come and go. It is very lively. Good ambience.
Its not often that I choose a table that is more secluded, for privacy – as I enjoy the lively ambience when I step out to eat or drink.
This time of year many of the NYC bars and restaurants have outdoor seating that is quite full. We sometimes bring my dog, depends on the scenario. Often there are many people with dogs and it is fun.
My favorite thing to do is sit in Central Park and have a picnic. When my friends were over with their infant a few weekends ago, we did this. I had a large spread of food and snacks, we had blankets, and games, and wine and cheese. Perfect sunny day. The dogs playing and the baby enjoying as well. It was a great day.
June 7, 2019 at 9:44 am #297845AnonymousGuestDear Cali Chica:
Central Park, I have good memories of it, except for the last time I was there, May 2013, long time ago. A picnic there, yes, reads lovely, I loved picnics, don’t remember the last time.
Did you enjoy preparing the large spread that time, organizing the picnic, bringing blankets, games and so forth… it wasn’t a burden for you, at any one time?
anita
June 7, 2019 at 2:35 pm #297903Cali ChicaParticipantDear Anita,
Why not a great experience that one time? If you don’t want to elaborate- perhaps a sentence? Or whatever you would like.
You know it’s natural for me to put things like that together. But at one point when everyone was there – 10 people in a small apartment I remember being overwhelmed. I realized that this is all for fun so it doesn’t matter! I tend to want everything to be perfect when I’m hosting and make sure my guests have a great time and great options. But this is self Induced. They’re having a great time regardless – I recall after getting to the park and spreading everything out (everyone helped of course) and having a glass of white wine – laying on the bare grass (I decided to Instead of the blanket) and feel nature – I felt good. I looked at everyone enjoying and I thought this is what it’s all about.
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