Dear Tessa:

At one point you gave and gave into the relationship without asserting your self interest in the relationship. When he broke up with you, it made the relationship, in retrospect, a Lose-Win proposition: Lose for you and Win for him.

Always consider and assert your self interest- that is your primary responsibility in a Win-Win relationship.

And this is what I believe you should do (as an answer to your “What do I do?” question)- place your self interest first in Win-Win relationships with anyone and everyone. No more selfless sacrifice on-a-regular-basis.

Please do post again, anytime.

anita