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Peter.
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November 30, 2017 at 3:00 am #180021
Anonymous
GuestDear Rach:
You wrote: “A series of events happened recently in my life which had led me to feel socially exiled…I wish I could start the past three/four years of my life all over again and re-do all the mistakes I’ve made”-
What were those events and mistakes that affected you so significantly?
anita
November 30, 2017 at 8:10 am #180057Peter
ParticipantSorry your feeling this way. You are not alone; a person can have a lot to be grateful and still experience loneliness and depression. Telling yourself that your wrong to have such feelings could be making such feelings stronger perhaps even finding yourself stuck feeling bad for feeling bad…
It sounds odd doesn’t it, feeling bad for feeling bad for feeling bad and down the rabbit hole we go. But this is what often happens when we label our feelings as wrong. A Label that can distract us from finding and dealing with what we need to attend to.
Here is an interesting paradox; what if feeling guilty for the way you feel, unworthy to feel what you are feeling, is connected to your experience of worthlessness. Is it possible that a step to moving forward and out of this stuck-ness is to acknowledge what you feeling? Your feelings and your needs have value. You have value. What your feeling is not wrong, emotions are information letting you know that something needs attention. You need attention. Finding someone to talk to, (maybe not a friend or family member) might be of help to untangle your thoughts and feelings.
“I wish I could start the past three/four years of my life all over again and re-do all the mistakes I’ve made.”
You have an inner wisdom speaking to you: There is no do over and even if you could start again you would make the same “mistakes”. This inner wisdom knows you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. In hindsight, you have learned better but learning better doesn’t allow one to time travel and do over. We can only take what was learned and apply to the present. But you already know this. The only mistake is not learning from our experiences.
Practice moving your attention from the past, from regret, and focus it on the now where when you learn better you do better. What more can you ask of others or yourself. Trust your intuition. You have inner resources just waiting to be discovered and that will amaze you.
December 1, 2017 at 12:13 pm #180253Band
ParticipantI, my wife and I have had a nasty rock bottom experience and it’ no where near over without random help.. I know this is not the place for what I’m about to do but… if I don’ ask then we will never make it out…. https://www.gofundme.com/loveslasthope
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