Hi Little Buddha,

Well, my resilience grew back a few months ago, when I was upset and stuck on a woman. TB helped me through the discomfort. In the process, I am now more resilient. Ta-dahh! Seriously – ta-dahhh! 🙂

The key is to push ahead as much as you can despite things falling apart, or trying to fall apart.

My childhood was very challenging – A lot of discomfort. I stuck by my values – hard work, honesty, friendship – and learned to cope with chaos.

As a teen, I worked in a restaurant kitchen. This is good experience in handling diverse challenges including failure.

My masters program was very challenging. I learned a lot about figuring out things on my own and with others, while under great pressure.

Challenging myself in the gym has made me more resilient.

There are and will be many more challenges that I will find uncomfortable. Like the one that brought me to TB. It’s a journey. 🙂

A few tips for you to try:

1. Get going even if you are anxious. You will figure it out once you are ‘in the game’ vs. procrastinating or giving up before starting.

2. In real time, if the challenge seems large, break it down and take it a chunk at a time. In tennis this is a point.

3. Realize that you will fail. And, you will learn from that failure. It may feel like suffering. It’s ok – this is accepting part of life.

I was not much of a Phish fan, but I like The Line. It’s about choking in sports.

You might watch other tough tennis matches to see how the players Handle it. You’ll see a range of people crying, throwing their rackets, and hugging their opponents.

Big blue

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Big blue.

Little Buddha,

Consider that the joy isn’t in the winning or losing. A huzzah or some tears, winning and losing, rising and falling, momentary flashes of emotion. Love of the game and our partners keeps us going, brings us joy and contentment when the trophies or tissues are put away. Resiliency naturally blooms as we see, find, that we can be happy with whatever outcome happens. Sure, we try our best to win, strike, score, whatnot, but that won’t always happen… so we may as well find the joy in the sport of it. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt