Home→Forums→Relationships→Resentment and Trust Issues
- This topic has 3 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
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May 24, 2016 at 2:06 pm #105519MaddieParticipant
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years now. He did some things in the past that really hurt me and just were really not okay.We had some bad fights and talked alot about it. Now he has made serious changes and
lately he hasn’t given me any reason not to trust him. He treats me very well. But yet, I can’t help feeling resentfull, suspicious and angry at him. Now, i know i have more trust issues than most people because of my childhood and my experiences with my parents, but i still think i have been reasonable with him. I am angry at my boyfriend almost everyday and itis emotionally exhausting. I keep it in most of the time because I don’t want to start a fight. I’ve already talked to him about it and he knows how I feel. It helps for a little while
when we’ve talked about it, but most of the time I end up just as angry as in the beginning of it all. He is very understanding but feels hurt that i still think about him this way. I just, I don’t know what to do about these feelings anymore. We really love eachother and want to build a life together,but right now I don’t trust that he won’t hurt me again or cheat on me. This is really painfull for me because it brings up all this anger and resentment from my childhood. My childhood just hasn’t been great and now I have trouble trusting people. I’m nineteen and I don’t have contact anymore with both of my parents because of this. So far the people in my life have abandoned me, abused me and let me down. Now my boyfriend has let me down I can’t help but seeing him as one of those people. What should i do?- This topic was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Maddie.
May 24, 2016 at 3:37 pm #105529AnonymousGuestDear maddie22:
I am glad you don’t have contact with your abusive parents and that your boyfriend is not abusive toward you.
You carry anger and distrust from your childhood and from earlier in the relationship with your boyfriend. The injuries from childhood, those do not disappear just because we are no longer children. Time doesn’t cure those either. Maybe you can attend psychotherapy with a competent, caring therapist to help you heal from your childhood abuse. That will take care of your under the surface, easily triggered anger.
It is a good thing you talk a lot with your boyfriend. When you feel anger, share it with him without blaming him for your anger. Talk to him in a way that doesn’t attack him, accuse him or abuse him. Show him empathy and take in his empathy for you. Be best friends first.
anita
May 30, 2016 at 6:38 am #105976MaddieParticipantThank you Anita for you response. I think I’m going to see a therapist again.
May 30, 2016 at 6:45 am #105978AnonymousGuestDear maddie22:
You are welcome. It needs to be a competent, caring therapist, not just any therapist. Prepare yourself with information on how you can evaluate a therapist for his/ her competence and empathy before you interview one. Please do post again,
anita
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