Dear Anna:

You read like a very reasonable, rational person in regard to the upcoming ending of the monogamous, love relationship with your boyfriend, very accepting of a transition to a friendship, like it all makes sense to you. On the other hand, it reads to me, that your heart is not where your rational is. Emotionally you are not okay with the ending of this relationship.

To not “end a very joyful chapter of our lives on a bad note” you may want to end it sooner than planned, as in the present, before he moves away.

You may otherwise not try to “subdue those negative emotions’, or to subdue any emotions, and instead, listen to them: what are they telling you?

If they are telling you that you are not ready or willing to end the monogamous relationship and transition to friendship, then listen and accept your feelings. Then make the appropriate decisions.

anita

Hi Anna,

I wouldn’t do anything right now, just take “a wait and see approach”. When you have been separated by distance for awhile, he may change his feelings and decide he may not be as happy and content as he once was when you both were near each other and had your friends around you. He already knows that you will be friends anyway and he seems to be okay with that. After some time, he will find new people, and perhaps meet someone special (if that is what you want for him). So right now, you may not have to do anything. Being apart, takes on a whole new perspective on things. You will change and meet new people and so will he.