Home→Forums→Tough Times→Relationship in Australia or university in France?
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CM.
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August 29, 2013 at 11:47 am #41396
JulyParticipantHey I’m a 19 year old girl from France. I’ve spent the last year in Australia after finishing highschool and met an absolutely amazing older man I lived with for 3 months, went on a holiday and the more I got to know him the more I loved him. We had a very loving relationship and since none of us worked we spent literally every day together for 3 months. We had fights sometimes more and sometimes less, mostly because of the age difference of 18 years we have different views on things but finally we always find to each other again because we both love each other…
My plan was actually to travel Australia and stay for a second year there to travel. That changed when I was with him, I wanted to stay with him for the year then instead of going travelling. We then had a few fights and I started to think about going back to France and going to uni and I applied for uni and got accepted by a good one I really liked. After a big fight I booked a ticket to France in 3 weeks because I was really angry because he didn’t seem to believe me that I’m serious about our relationship although I told him every day that I loved him and wanted to stay with him. The next days I regretted my decision though but I’ve already told my family and I couldn’t bear to disappoint them, especially my grandpa who was in hospital 2 times since I was gone so I went back to France a week ago and it was the saddest goodbye I’ve ever had. Since I’ve gone I miss him a lot and we talk every day.
Now I don’t know what to do I’ve looked at an appartment in the city where the uni in France is and I found a very good one. I could study something I find really interesting and stay close to my best friends and family. I would probably get over him one day and enjoy living in the city and make new friends there and find a boyfriend my age…
But on the other hand I really love that man and it’ll break my heart not to be with him and I know that I’ll break his, too…I’m just not sure if it will work out between us because he’s so much older and we had lots of fights…and I won’t be able to have that “normal” uni and party life others have at my age.
But if I go back to Australia I could stay there for one year and work and I could be able to afford to study there next year maybe…
My heart’s just torn between the people I love on 2 different continents and I don’t know how to decide what’s right for me..August 29, 2013 at 12:09 pm #41397
SusannaParticipantHello July 🙂
Are you currently in France, and when does term start? If you could stay at friends/family and not commit to renting an apartment long term, maybe its worth considering seeing how uni goes for a few weeks and see how much you like it?
Now I’m at uni, missing people is just part of life. It’s bearable and it’s just because I NOW HAVE MORE PEOPLE TO LOVE. If I had never gone, I would never have met all of these amazing people. I guess you might feel the same about when you moved to Australia… I don’t know, but I do know it’s ok to miss people as long as you stay in contact 🙂
Whatever decision you make, take your time and don’t feel rushed or pressured into anything x x x
August 29, 2013 at 12:22 pm #41399JulyParticipantHi Susanna!
Yes I’m back to France now…the term start in October but the city is not that close to my hometown so it’s not possible for me to stay at friends or my family. I would have to commit to renting an appartment for at least 6 months.
Yeah I felt the same about my friends and family when I went to Australia but I just never felt like I do now…I’ve never felt as horrible as I did when I sat in that plane I didn’t even look forward to seeing my family and friends again I haven’t seen for a year.
Anyway he misses me, but he thinks, too that I should go to uni and see how it goes just to be sure that I won’t regret not going to that uni later…August 29, 2013 at 8:20 pm #41418
luciaParticipantHi July,
I might be a little biased, but I really think going to Uni would really broaden your horizons and I guess life experience. I wouldn’t discount your time in Australia, but Uni is a fantastic time to meet new people, learn new things, and really grow into the person you will become. I don’t know, I usually figure if it’s meant to be it’ll happen again at another time when the timing is right. Really what it comes down to is what feels right for you?
Lucia
August 30, 2013 at 7:01 pm #41465
CMParticipantHi,
I must agree with the above poster. You are 19 years old and are in a relationship with a much older man. I do understand the attraction as I am a 36 year old man and date younger women myself. I recently returned to the US after being out of the country for 8 years. Enjoy the time and memories that you have made in Australia, they will stay with you for the rest of your life. If the relationship is meant to last then arrangements can always be made for week long excursions back and forth. He should encourage you to continue your education. I recently dated a girl your age and she suddenly decided not to continue college. I informed her that if she made that decision, we would no longer be together. Sadly, people will enter and leave your life that you think will always be there. The one thing that you will always have and will allow you to travel and expand your still very young horizon is your education. Please listen to your heart because I believe from reading your post, inside you know that you need to return back to France and attend. Best of luck to you….
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