Dear ivy:

In this overall time of uncertainty, ask for your new friend/ ex boyfriend’s support. Ask for his time, for a couple of dates per week, like the one you just had. He said he is not going anywhere, so take him up on this. As his friend, share with him honestly and openly how connected you feel to him. Share with him how anxiety provoking it is for you, at this uncertain time in your life, to lose your connection with him.

And as you derive some comfort from his company, gather social support from elsewhere, to prepare for your future without your now ex boyfriend. Prepare your career life. Move on from these uncertain times.

I hope I am making sense to you. Am I?

anita

Hi ivy,

You mentioned that you are trying to meditate and having difficulty doing that. Right now, with all your challenges and uncertainties, your state of mind is such that it won’t be able to relax when you try to force it to do something.

The relaxation should happen naturally by itself. At least you can breathe to achieve that naturally…

“Any advice about how to deal with the symptoms of anxiety, especially the physically overwhelming panic feelings, would be so welcome”

Please do either one or both of these simple yet effective breathing techniques-
Both the below breathing techniques can be used if you are not able to sleep, feeling stressed, struggling with panic attacks, having difficulty concentrating or focusing, feeling agitated or anxious or frustrated, fear of something, suffering from already existing anxiety, want to take your mind off of your immediate concerns. These enhance rest and relaxation, encourage a calmer emotional state, center the mind, restore imbalances in the brain, boost your thinking, pacify your nervous system and have several other mental-emotional benefits.

Along with deep relaxation from your overwhelming feelings, you will be able to have clarity of mind and be able to make a decision about the situation you are going through.

1) The 7-11 breathing technique:

http://blog.humangivens.com/2012/10/how-does-deep-breathing-make-you-feel.html?m=1

Please go through the article at first and then read below…
If you find it inconvenient to count to 11 or 7, then reduce the count to breathe for 3 and 5, or any other number that suits exactly as per your comfort level. Just make sure that the out-breath is longer than the in-breath by a few numbers. In my case, for this to work, I had to increase the count to 11 and 15 because I tend to take long deep breaths.

2) Alternate Nostril Breathing:

Alternate Nostril Breathing also known as Nadi Shodhana, is a powerful breathing practice with extensive reaching benefits. Nadi is a Sanskrit word meaning ‘channel’ or ‘flow’ which is the subtle energy channel and Shodhana means ‘purification.’ This simple yet powerful technique settles the mind, body, and emotions. You can use it to quiet your mind and it is particularly helpful to slow down racing thoughts if you are experiencing anxiety, stress, or having trouble falling asleep. It’s a wonderful breathing technique that helps keep the mind calm, enables to be happy, peaceful and cheerful by practicing it just for a few minutes. It also helps release accumulated stress, tension and fatigue.

Steps:

Step 1: Use right thumb to close right nostril

Step 2: Inhale slowly through left nostril

Step 3: Pause at the top of the inhale for a second or two as per your comfort level

Step 4: Now close left nostril with ring finger. Release the thumb off the right nostril

Step 5: Exhale through your right nostril

Step 6: Now, inhale through right nostril

Step 7: Pause at the top of the inhale for a second or two as per your comfort level

Step 8: Use thumb to close of right nostril

Step 9: Breathe out through left nostril

Steps 1 to 9 make one round. Continue with the steps for 3 to 5 minutes. You can do this lying down on your bed too.
Make sure to not force the breathing and do not breathe through the mouth. You can skip the pausing of breath if you have blood pressure issues. Close your eyes and allow the relaxation to happen quietly for a few moments after you have finished.

Happy Relaxing!
VJ

• This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by VJ.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by VJ.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by VJ.