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Relationship Anxiety, Sexual Past, Resentment

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  • June 14, 2017 at 2:27 pm #153268
    Saman
    Participant

    Hi,

    I can relate to the ingrusive toughts although mines are focused around my ex girlfriend and what she is doing with other guys. Im sick of the thoughts, some days I dont react the “I feel like someone is cutting me from the inside ” emotions but more then often I can have the thoughts all through the day, with extreme reactions in the.morning, calmer during the day and then back to extreme reaction at night.  I know how hard it is to be constantly switching your emotional state several times a day.

    June 15, 2017 at 8:33 am #153444
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear  Scott:

    You wrote: “The thoughts feel so painful at times and at other times don’t really phase me”-

    At times the thoughts are associated with emotion (pain/ distress). At other times the thoughts are not associated with emotion. When you think of your girlfriend sexual past again, notice: are the thoughts associated with emotion, this time, or are they separated from emotion? Notice when you feel the beginning of an emotion, the beginning sensations (heart beating faster?)

    Then, take a few deep breaths and remember those other times when these thoughts do not phase you, when they are divorced from emotion and … sort of, go to that place in your brain that made that possible in the past. Duplicate it, so to speak.

    Do it again and again, every time you notice the beginning of the thinking.

    anita

    June 15, 2017 at 10:46 am #153474
    Scott
    Participant

    Thank you guys, and Anita that does seem helpful to try. I also realized that my diet was affecting my mood as I wasn’t eating enough carbohydrates therefore altering my mental states. I did a little research and found that those people who go on low-carb diets such as the Atkin’s or Keto diet begin to notice changes in their thinking, moods, and emotions. I’m going to try to keep my diet balanced and when the negative thoughts arise, I will try my best to ground myself.

    June 15, 2017 at 11:44 am #153494
    Alien incident47
    Participant

    I can relate to how you feel at times when I was younger man a woman’snumber was important,  but now that I’m older it means nothing,  I have come to realize that it doesn’t matter if she’s was one before me or a thousand lovers before me , it’s what is in her heart . If she loves you dearly then focus on tat and feed those thoughts of her loving you ,that is what is important.  Focus on her love for you when you feel the negative thoughts creeping in your head . Be a man of wisdom and heart the guys that speak of her in poor taste , are guys if poor taste , and she chose you of any man in the world she could have , and that is something more valuable then gold it’s self is her love for you .

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