Hey there. I was wondering if anyone could help me out here. I feel as I am being constantly annoyed by things that my boyfriend does. Small things that really shouldn’t bother me. I’m thinking that it has something to do with me.

Here’s the background story:
We met eachother through a mutual friend. In the first few months of our friendship he told me that he liked me and asked me if I felt the same way. At that point I had feelings for another person, so I rejected him but we agreed on staying friends.

A year went by and we became very close. He became my best friend and my go-to person. I began to miss him the moment he was gone, always thinking of him, always wanting to be with him and talk to him. One night I got really drunk and told him how I felt.

The issues:
We have been togehter for 8 months now. To begin with everything was good. We were on that cloud and both very much attracted to one another. Things were mutual. Suddenly I found that it was me contacting him all the time and I started to worry and wonder how much he cared for our relationship. When I told him he said that he thought I was being clingy. I have never heard this from anyone before, in fact I have been told the opposite; that I have been too distant. So I think that this was just me trying to change that.
When I told him that he was understanding.

A few weeks went by before the next big argument. I actually ended up breaking up with him. He came back the next day and apologized.
Again things were fine for some time but then we went out for a birthday party hosted by two of my friends. I know that it can feel uncomfortable being sorrounded by people you don’t know so well, and I knew that he had been out the night before so I had been trying to keep an eye on him. When at one point we were both alone I asked if he wanted to take a walk. We sat down and he asked me how I felt. I told him I was fine and asked why he wanted to know. It seemed odd to me as I felt that I had expressed my feelings clearly. He replied that it didn’t seem like I was having a good time.
When I asked him later about this, he told me that he didn’t have a good time and wanted to now if I had felt the same way. However, when I took it up again he refused to have ever said this and told me he had asked because he was worried about me. This confuses me a lot.

We have had similar arguments. Arguments where he changes explanation, or says he don’t remember what was said. Arguments where he refuses to admit that he’s wrong. I know I have trouble with the last thing myself and I am truly trying to work on myself.

One time after having a conversation about some issues that we had, I asked him if he felt he had gained something from the conversation. He answerd simply “no”. I aksed him to explain and he said he prefered to yell at eachother. I don’t like yelling, but we have talked loudly to eachoteher and when we start doing that, he says to wait untill we are calmed down. This bothers me too, because when a problem occurs I want to solve it right away so I can move on. But he can’t do this. One time after a big fight he simply said he wanted to wait and then fell asleep. I on the other hand was up all night thinking.

There is tons of other scenarious. The list could go on.
I know that I have my flaws and problems too and I am trying to work on them. I know I love him but I don’t feel the relationship is always mutual and lately I have started to be annoyed by little things he does.
Here’s some examples:
1) Yesterday he was ill and I think he overreacted. I feel I got unnessesary upset because of it and I do in general. I feel like he complains too much and goes to the doctor about the smallest things. I believe this is because we have been raised in very different ways.

2) He gesticulates a lot when he explains things.
3) He didn’t come home to me after a christmas dinner with his fellow students as he sometimes does.

This is things I know I shouldn’t be annoyed about but I can’t help it. It triggers something. Maybe due to all these underlying problems. Maybe it’s due to problems with my self-esteem. I don’t know how to sort this out and get him to work on the relationship.
If anyone has any advice, please help !