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Relapse in my journey!

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • April 3, 2017 at 11:59 pm #143563
    mahesh
    Participant

    Hi!I am a chronic worrier!My journey started with a panic attack over heart attack when I was 17 years old…I constantly worried at that time abt getting a heart attack and didnt understood the reason for the same….4-5 years of struggle and help with tiny Buddha made me realise it was my anxiety and over anxious mind playing tricks with me!From hopelessness I gained confidence and practiced mindfulness,which transformed me from a worrier who kept awake frequently to a peaceful being!I was happy to win my battle and regain the lost confidence…I felt very good for the next 4 years till recently I started getting negative thoughts…I started feeling that what I learnt in mindfulness is not being effectively used to keep me at peace…..I don’t know why I again started thinking negatively..(I started worrying while going to sleep)it again created a Vicious cycle and when I I tried to apply my previously learnt mindfulness knowledge,it didn’t helped much..!I worry that I had not fully recovered at the first place and was my mindfulness knowledge was incomplete??Do relapses happen in recovery after 3-4 years of peacefulness??I started thinking that my brain has some malfunction so it isn’t responding to mindfulness..!I have seen light from darkness in the past,but there is so much anxiety these days that it is becoming hard for me to see it again..Pls help and sorry for the long post!!

    April 4, 2017 at 8:23 am #143595
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mahesh:

    We judge our experience of anxiety vs calm at any one time in comparison to how we felt before. During the four years of being a “peaceful being” and feeling “very good” – that was in comparison to how you felt before. You probably still had anxiety going. But less frequently and less intensely ..(?)

    Then the anxiety became more frequent and more intense- could be that life circumstances had changed, some trigger in the environment; the actual failure of your mindfulness practice was a trigger.

    My healing process, still ongoing, from anxiety involves Mindfulness and insight. The insight itself is still growing and is possible through mindfulness. I find out that there is more and more to mindfulness than what I thought before. So I am thinking you can find that More for yourself. Competent psychotherapy with a therapist versed in mindfulness can help you increase your mindfulness practice, get more skillful at it.

    anita

    April 5, 2017 at 3:25 am #143699
    VJ
    Participant

    Hi Mahesh,

    I am a chronic worrier too, and like you there have been times where something that was working earlier did not work later.

    It is my understanding that this happens for the evolution of your soul. This has led me to learn, practice and at times preach many Life Healing Techniques.

    Only by letting go of the old, you can make way for the new.

     

    Now on what to do for you next-

    Some times there may be nothing extra that is needed. Simply lying down and breathing is needed.

    – try Conscious breathing

    (http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/conscious-breathing-simplest-way-work-emotional-pain-enjoy-life/)

    OR

    -try any of the techniques listed by members here

    (http://dev.tinybuddha.com/topic/relaxation-meditation-techniques/)

    OR

    – Come up with something that you will learn from (someone or somewhere)  in due course of the journey of your soul and share it with others (probably by posting it here)

     

    Best wishes,

    VJ

     

    April 5, 2017 at 4:46 am #143701
    VJ
    Participant

    Hi Mahesh, Below is another post that will be of great help-

    (http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-be-present-peaceful-cant-stop-thinking/)

    April 5, 2017 at 7:13 am #143705
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Mahesh,

    Be kind and compassionate with yourself: relapse is very common among people who suffered from depression or episodes of anxiety. It is extremely easy to fall back in our older ways and thinking patterns.

    I have been in a very dark place before and I am aware it might happen again. That’s one of the many reasons why I practice “like my life depends on it”.

    I assure you that all the meditation techniques and mindfulness practices you have learnt in the past have been and still are very valuable.

    All your previous practice helped building your “brain muscle” and your strenght of spirit exactly for difficult moments like this one. Keep practicing. Be patient. Observe your thoughts. Watch them fading away.

    I highly recommend this book: Mindfulness – A practical guide to find peace in a frantic world (Mark Williams and Danny Pennman). It is a very straight forward 8 weeks course that might help you to stop the downward negative spiral of thoughts. It is doing wonders for me!

    Also, like Anita wisely suggested, I would seek advice from a good therapist. As far as I know a few sessions of Cognitive Therapy do miracles to cure extreme anxiety or panic attacks.

    I wish you all the best,

    Serena

    April 10, 2017 at 6:52 am #144373
    mahesh
    Participant

    Thank you Anita and all for your soothing words!Yes i too feel that last time when I thought I had recovered a lot..I thought that I would never ever feel like that again..That I am all good now..And when after 2-3 years I started feeling negative again(triggered by a recent breakup) I got overhelmed when my mindfulness practice wasn’t able to stop me diving into another spell of gloom..I instead of accepting my current status,ruminated over my inability to fix the negative thought pattern! I am feeling bad these days and just hope that one day I would again breathe with the same freedom,if not more!For that I have to start loving myslef again!

    April 10, 2017 at 7:04 am #144383
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mahesh:

    One day, maybe even today, you will breathe again with more freedom. The thing with Mindfulness, you don’t become mindful and you’re done. There is always more to see, more to be aware of, more to learn. It is a process that never ends, for as long as you are alive. The Mindfulness that worked for you in the past will not serve you for the rest of your life, there is more to it.

    It is not a possession that you have or own in your brain and you’re-set. It is a practice, ongoing.

    anita

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