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Regret

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  • This topic has 137 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Gagan.
Viewing 15 posts - 46 through 60 (of 138 total)
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  • October 30, 2017 at 7:51 am #175677
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    Absolutely, please do post anytime you feel like it. I will definitely feel like responding.

    anita

    October 30, 2017 at 8:06 am #175691
    Gagan
    Participant

    Omg, I can’t breathe. I keep picturing her and my life together. I am imagining the future together. I want to numb my mind for a second!

    October 30, 2017 at 8:14 am #175701
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    Go for a walk outdoors, no matter how cold it may be (dress warm), that will relax you. Or go to the gym.

    anita

    October 30, 2017 at 10:18 am #175739
    Gagan
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I walked outside in the sun in this beautiful Fall weather. It felt great for a minute there. Then not so great. I keep imagining that she is with another guy, probably sharing a sweet loving moment, and it breaks me! :'(

    October 30, 2017 at 11:00 am #175755
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    Can you add to your imagination of her being with another guy the following: the other guy, unfortunately for him, is stuck being at the wrong, for as long as he is with her. You on the other hand can be at the right, at least sometimes. What a right and a privilege for you.

    anita

    October 30, 2017 at 11:15 am #175767
    Gagan
    Participant

    hmm, I like that! 🙂

    October 30, 2017 at 11:19 am #175771
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    Good. I don’t think he likes it, again, unfortunate for him.

    anita

    October 30, 2017 at 11:20 am #175773
    Gagan
    Participant

    yes ofcourse. I’m not glad at what he is going through. I’m glad that I have something to think to try to move past it!

    October 30, 2017 at 11:27 am #175779
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    I understand. This thought you are thinking “to try to move past it” is not a wishful kind of thinking: it is not wishing him ill and it is not a make believe just so to make yourself feel better. It is a realistic thought based on your very experience. Stick to realistic thinking and you will be better for it.

    anita

    October 30, 2017 at 11:55 am #175785
    Gagan
    Participant

    Thank you Anita,

    What do you think is the best way to move forward in life from where I stand? I’m 30 and don’t much like being alone anymore. Whenever I walk the streets of the city, I get sad because I am there just by myself. There is no motivation in ending the work sharply at 5 and going home because I know no one is waiting for me there. That is not to say that I want a “rebound” or “settle” but just some suggestions on how to move forward with life. I have a great job, good friends and a decent family situation. Guide me in how to live in the present moment and just be joyful. What would you do?

    October 30, 2017 at 12:15 pm #175789
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    What I would do if I was you would be, soon enough, aim at meeting the woman who will make a good choice for a wife, for you, a partner in life, one to come back home to. I will be figuring out a way to date different women for the purpose of getting good at learning and evaluating who this woman is, who that woman is, over time. It doesn’t mean, of course, to get physically intimate with different women. I am suggesting, without physical intimacy, that you get to know different women.

    This way, the physical intimacy with this or that woman will not confuse you.

    I would say after a year or so, you will be in much of a better position to make a better choice then the one you were ready to make recently (what a relief that you didn’t, isn’t it).

    anita

    October 30, 2017 at 1:07 pm #175793
    Gagan
    Participant

    Thank you Anita 🙂

    October 30, 2017 at 1:19 pm #175799
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, Gagan.

    anita

    October 31, 2017 at 5:29 am #175857
    Gagan
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I slept much better than before last night. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a great improvement. When I woke up this morning, the whole thought of her sleeping with this other guy creeped up my head. I tried to push the thought away but it just wouldn’t go. She usually texts me every morning. Today she didn’t. I feel her drifting apart second by second. I feel alone! I feel like I need her, even though it is not right for me. I know the this back and forth feeling will remain for a while, but I think it will disappear one day. I am taking it day by day, and when she moves away physically in just a week or so, things will change. I hope they change for the better. I hope I don’t feel lost and hopeless!

    October 31, 2017 at 6:10 am #175861
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Gagan:

    Improvement is good enough. Day by day is the way to go, says I.

    You wrote “I hope I don’t feel lost and hopeless”- you may feel lost and hopeless again, probably will.  The amazing thing to me is the following: if you married her, a woman who makes sure she is always right, and you – and your future children- are always wrong, it is then that you would truly be lost and hopeless because you wouldn’t be able to go back in time and undo the birth of your child who will suffer.

    It is better that you feel lost and hopeless than that you are lost and hopeless.

    anita

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