I have been thinking about this idea for a little while ever since a breakup a little more then two months ago and that is whether or not being sincere with your emotions is the best for us as people. In my thinking there are two sides to this idea. One being that we tell others how we feel and we do not keep emotions to ourselves. The second is that we keep our emotions to ourselves and act like how society wants us to be. I have been unable to find a stance that I completely agree. This is more of a rant for the next little bit. I wanted to type my ideas so I won’t be as anxious about it but I also wanted to have it so that other people have the possibility of seeing it. So if anybody reads this you are welcome to input your ideas surrounding the topic because I would love to hear another person’s perspective. But if not that is fine too.

The first is that we tell and show others how we feel. This is like wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Personally this is what I do. It is in my nature to tell others how I feel. I have always done this. My problem is that I do not know if it is what is right to do. Most of the time I have been fine. People have always seemed to appreciate this. Realize that I am not the type of person to be mean. An example of what I would tell another person was that “when you did that, it made me really happy” or “when you acted like that, it made me sad”. And another element of being so open with other people is that telling them how you feel about another person. Like being in love, disagreement, friendly, etc. Recently when I have been so open it has just hurt me even more. I feel attacked, rejected, hurt a lot more. I do not know if those consequences should reflect being open. I have been hurt before but now I am being attacked by a person whom I do love and it is really putting a damper on how I feel.

The latter is that we act as emotionless as possible. People tell me to do this. They see me hurt and tell me to just “let it roll off my back” and to be this emotionless “I do not care” personality. I have such a hard time trying to do this. I feel like I am putting on a role. It does not feel as if I am living authentically. I still feel hurt but I now have to pretend like I am not hurt. I do not understand this. If I act emotionless and pretend like it did not hurt my feelings then does that mean that the feeling is no longer there. More people put on this front then wear their heart on their shoulder.

These two different ideas seem so confusing to me. Maybe it is because my best friend and I fit the two extremes. I am the one to wear her heart on her sleeve and she puts on a front. It seems like I am never happy and she is always very happy. People perceive me as being reflective, smart and her as being social, and flirtatious. She can move from one guy to another, while I am more of a one guy type of person. However we balance each other. Writing out how I feel is so beneficial for me. I am just a girl trying to figure out problems of my mind without completely losing myself. I want to understand the pain and learn from it. This reflection is just part of internalizing it for me. Thanks for creating a forum I can just get my ideas out there:)