Recovering from a traumatic event

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This topic has 10 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 8 years ago by Anonymous.

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November 29, 2016 at 1:47 pm #121500

Lauren
Participant

Hi There,

This is my 1st time posting on Tiny Buddha so I hope I’m putting this in the appropriate space. I had an incident this past weekend and have been quite shaken ever since… My friend and I had a few drinks over the course of the day, and decided to walk to the store and get some champagne (brilliant plan!). On the way back home, we came across a stray cat that meowed and followed us down the sidewalk. In my blurry-minded state, I decided to bring it home (about a 3-minute walk) to feed it some canned cat food.

I currently have one other cat who was recently diagnosed with Leukemia but as of yet showing good health. Regardless, he has a compromised immune system and introducing this new, outside animal to the home was a terrible judgment call on my part. I had the wherewithal to realize this fairly quickly and scooped up the cat after she’d had a plate of food. She was not happy, and both cats were now aware of one another.. Immediately regretting this unfortunate decision, I grabbed the stray and brought her down the 3 staircases to the outside where I planned to bring her back to where we found her.

The cat scratched and wiggled out of my grasp as soon as we opened the doors to the outside. My street is on the busier side, and the poor thing darted into the road (about 20 feet away) and was instantly and violently struck by a car. I couldn’t believe it… Shock gave immediate way to unstoppable tears. I will spare you the details but it was a horrific sight. I couldn’t believe what started as a way to help this little thing could end so SO horribly.

Now, three days later, I can’t shake it from my head. I feel guilty for drinking as much as I did and putting myself in a compromised state. I wish I’d thought through the fact that we have another cat at home who could potentially now get sick because I introduced another (wild no less) animal briefly into the apartment. The thought of the poor thing merely meowing for a potential snack and then ending in its death breaks my heart…

I don’t even really know what I’m asking for from you guys, but hoping this passionate community could lend some solace at this time. There is no excuse for my reckless behavior, but I hope to come to terms with the fact that I was at heart trying to do what I thought would help it.

-Lauren

November 29, 2016 at 2:10 pm #121502

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Lauren:

Regarding the stray cat: she wiggles out of your grasp. Plenty of sober people’s grasp is not strong enough for a cat to escape. So as far as that cat goes, your drinking did not cause her death. it was an accident.

Regarding your own cat: she may not be at all affected by the introduction of the stray cat.

The event is a tragedy and the sight was horrible, I have no doubt. It is not a sight one forgets easily. But pay attention: there are a few factors here that are not connected:

* your drinking- you did not drink and drive and then had an accident. You took a stray cat home to feed. Lots of people do that, and drinking has nothing to do with it.

*your grasp of the cat- cats wiggle out of lots of people’s grasp, very often. You probably didn’t want to fight against her escaping your grasp by holding too fight and hurting her.

*the cat, being a stray cat, was already in danger of being run over, compared to house cats. The timing of it included you being right there watching it.

We can never predict what will happen randomly following our decisions. For example: I take my walk this afternoon (right after this post), I walk by this house (no way to avoid it) with Lucy, a dog outside. She is so happy to see me she runs into the street (true happening so far) and gets hit by a car (didn’t happen). Did I cause her demise? After all if I didn’t walk, she wouldn’t run to meet me and she wouldn’t be hit… not that day. (And if I walked drunk by that house, that would have nothing to do with the results)

anita

November 29, 2016 at 2:26 pm #121505

Lauren
Participant

Thank you, Anita! I so appreciate your well thought and fast response. It’s really nice to hear from an unbiased person too.. because the people close to you are more inclined to tell you what you want to hear. It truly helps me to read your kind, logical feedback.

Thanks again so much.

Lauren x

November 29, 2016 at 2:36 pm #121508

Anonymous
Inactive

Man, that sucks so much, but you couldn’t have foreseen it, drinking or no drinking. It was just a sad, brutal thing to happen.

I feel for the poor cat, and I feel for you.

November 29, 2016 at 2:39 pm #121509

Lauren
Participant

Thank you! 🙁 I hope this post isn’t a day ruiner for people to read.. !

November 29, 2016 at 6:33 pm #121527

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Lauren/ Irose82:

You are welcome, and please, do post anytime, any topic.

anita

November 29, 2016 at 7:27 pm #121535

Anonymous
Guest

* Post above did not take, try again…

November 29, 2016 at 10:58 pm #121547

raquel
Participant

So sorry for what happened.

November 30, 2016 at 1:34 am #121555

children
Participant

On a positive note : You are truly a kind person. In a world where people give damn to another human being who is suffering, you are owing for the accidents which happened unintentionally.

November 30, 2016 at 6:07 am #121575

Prats
Participant

Hello All,
Want to share my life story with you so that
I can welcome your suggestions and try to
apply them.
2 years back , all of sudden after a party,
one of my close friend after drinking (dont exactly know how much) passed away in the
morning. It was a very sudden loss because
he was fit and fine before that. I am
not exaclty sure how did this happen
and still at times wonder.
I some how came mange to survive this
loss but after 2 months a ache started in
my chest and suddenly my anxiety level
with high (because I was told that my
friend died of heart attack) and from then
i have been lost and associated my anxiety
with my friends loss and life has been
a complete downhill.
Now I have so much of mixed feelings like
How can I be happy if my friend died?
Any small pain in my head triggers
the memories of my friends loss!
Then I also feel ashamed of myself
by thinking if my friend is somewhere(heaven)
how dissapointed he must me with me.
Fear of uncertain death!
I completely live by all the above memories
and replay them continuosly so that i
can get solution.
This has affected my sleeping and i hardly
sleep at night.
I have tried yoga, meditation, positive
thinking and it has helped alot and i am
definately better now. But its just
that I am not able to sleep peacefully.
And whenever I couldnt sleep much
the whole above circle starts again.
Now i believe that letting go my past
means having peaceful sleep and that never
happens and i am still stuck fighting
the thoughts.
Please help me to come out of this circle
so that i can come out of the being happy
guilt!

November 30, 2016 at 10:08 am #121601

Anonymous
Guest

* Dear pratts: will you Copy your above post, then click FORUMS at the top, choose a CATEGORY, click your chosen category, go down the page and Paste the above post? Will reply there.
anita
Author

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