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  • August 11, 2013 at 12:21 am #40175
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Maybe its too early to ask this question but do two broken people who were together once, ever meet again to rekindle their romance? I ask because I am on a journey to find myself. I was reading some of my journals before I met my ex (like 3 days before to be exact) and I saw that I was having a real tough time coping with being alone. I can’t remember ever in my adult life where I didn’t want to have a man in my life. At one point, I even wrote in my diary that any man will do! I see that I was (in some way I still am) a very insecure, scare to be alone, little girl.

    The more I get to know myself, the more I realize that me and ex weren’t so awful together. Our insecurities made it impossible to be in a relationship. I know I am doing everything I can do to break my pattern and to love myself but there this tiny hope in me that says he is out there doing the same and that our paths will meet again,. Is that crazy?
    When he broke my heart, I found out gnat there was another girl in the picture and he told me there is no hope for us. So why am still holding on? Its been 36 days and counting without any contact with him. Yay for that.

    August 11, 2013 at 8:11 am #40183
    Matt
    Participant

    Sapna,

    Unless you find a psychic, the answer to your question will remain unknown. I’m sorry that being alone is difficult for you in this moment, but as you continue your path of healing, the Sapna light will be what dispels the lonesomeness. Perhaps looking at the longing which supports the question will be more fruitful than fantasizing about what may or may not be.

    To be direct, it seems to me like the question is just another hook your mind has thrown out to try to feel better. Another fantasy to fuel the Sapna fire. Remember that fantasy is not as good of a fuel as self caring, because when you are kind to yourself, that is real and here now. Fantasy pulls our energy away from what is real.

    I’m sorry for the suffering, the lonesomeness and difficulties youre having. Keep at the self care, it gets easier in time. Then, not just “any man” will do, and that is better for you and your next romantic partner.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    August 11, 2013 at 12:20 pm #40189
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Thanks for setting me straight.
    Every time I feel insecure, I go back to thinking abouy my ex. I know I have spend more time with myself to stop putting myself down. I cut my hair off yesterday in order to get a different look but in reality I was trying to run away from myself. Now what’s done is done. Back to the pillow like u would say.
    Namaste

    August 11, 2013 at 2:00 pm #40193
    Barbara
    Participant

    Hi Sapnap3

    Just to say I hope you are keeping yourself strong. It’s not easy. You are doing great, and like Matt said the mind latches on to the hooks, and can take us away into a spin of wondering. All will be well with time – although I know we get sick of hearing that! But it certainly is true, and maybe not as long as you think in this moment, as the pain is raw and the wounds are so fresh.

    I remember in a previous relationship when I broke off an engagement, I thought my world would never get better, ever, but little by little of course it did, just by doing the simple little things, like a nice walk, yoga class, sitting having a coffee in the sun, meditating, talking to friends obviously. It helps to try to do these thins even though some days we dont feel like it at all. But its worth it, as it kind of happens when you least expected, that you start to feel that bit better.

    While you are going through the pain it feels endless, but just be good to yourself, and there will be a time when your memories of the relationship fade away, and you dont remember all the pain anymore, it will all seem distant. Good things await you, so try not to worry if you can.

    Keep the faith 🙂
    Hugs,
    Barbs.

    August 11, 2013 at 2:57 pm #40199
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Sapnap,
    Questions can be dangerous things. We’re always told that there is no such thing as a “stupid” question – but there are unskillful questions. What do you stand to gain by asking this question? Whether you meet up with him or not is a question that is going to continue to ensnare you and you do not let go of this question because, simply, you don’t want to! You think that you can still hang onto this person who has left your life by using your thoughts. But it is all fantasy – simply airy wisps of reality that only serve to keep you ensnared in attachment. Attachment is suffering. Nothing but suffering can be found by asking this question. So is it crazy – well, no! If so then count me crazy and count everyone who has every experienced a breakup – crazy! That’s probably just about everyone on the planet. So is it crazy – no. Is it unskillful – yes! You will suffer more by this line of thinking. Release yourself, friend. The path to liberation and happiness is arrived at by letting go of attachment and aversion. People drift in and out your life and there is nothing that we can do except welcome people in and let go when people leave. It speaks nothing about you – this revolving door of relationships – it is simply a fact of life. People have their own reasons to come into your life and to leave them. Let it go no further than here! Relieve your own suffering by letting go. It would be a tremendous act of love and kindness for yourself to do this. Contact that little girl inside of you – “breathing in, there is a scared, insecure little girl – breathing out, I comfort this scared and insecure little girl” Whatever image or mantra you can produce that would provide comfort to this place that is hurting and having a hard time letting go inside of you will do! It is this place, I think, that is having such difficulty in letting go. Goto her and comfort her, and I think she will relax and allow you both to let go. You are a team! Be a team of friendship and love.

    Be peaceful
    -J.D.

    August 11, 2013 at 7:44 pm #40217
    Sapnap3
    Participant

    Thank you Barbara and JD. This journey has been the most difficult one for me but I am proud that I am hanging on. Getting a haircut triggered a memory and I realized that I didn’t make a change for me, I made change for him. In memory of his love for the way I looked. That made me relapse. I know its only hair and it’ll grow back but somehow I identified with it. Once my sister told me that people were only drawn to me because of my hair and since than it became who I am.
    Good news is that I see that now. I am going to continue this journey however painful it is.
    Thank you to all of you who reach out and gave me the strength to look within. This certainly counts as your good deed for the day. You are giving a lost child hope and showing her the way.
    Namaste
    Sapna

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