MiMi,
Its very common and usual to have emotions come up in the body! I love to cry, and find it to be a great release. Afterward I am tired, but peaceful. Don’t be ashamed of emotions, they are an incredible guide and teacher. Sometimes if the mind says “don’t feel this, this is dumb” then its just suppressing the truth of what MiMi is in that moment. Its like trying to stuff too many clothes in a closet… the mind says “don’t let it out” and so it tries to shove against the door to keep it closed. How exhausting!
Instead we can just open up and let it out. That’s when we become wise, because we know who we are and how we feel. Whether its wanting to cry or feeling attracted to white guys, its OK to be just who you are. In fact, what else could you be? We all have a unique path to joy, and it is through accepting our likes and dislikes that we walk that path.
Don’t forget to play! Sometimes we want to “know what it all means” and “figure myself out” so much that we forget to let the inner child come out. Then things become dreary and serious, instead of light and fun. This is an incredible world we get to walk around and dance within, don’t forget to have fun!
With warmth,
Matt