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Putting my past in a box and letting it go

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • January 3, 2014 at 8:41 pm #48355
    Cjae
    Participant

    I have a very difficult past to live with. Past abuses, toxic family, countless rejections, poor self image, suicide attempts, arrests, drug abuse, addiction, addictive personality, countless weight fluctuations to extremes, eating disorders, plethera of mental health issues, and a vast pool of embarrassing actions that I have no shortage of, social life debilitating anxiety, loss of friendships, bullying, everyday depression, more failures then I will ever admit to. I could go on and on.

    But I don’t want to. I want to put it all in a box and ship it down a gentle stream and start over fresh. It’s hard done, and easily said. Any help or suggestions are valued, and I’m a complete student willing to learn.

    January 3, 2014 at 10:16 pm #48361
    Hee
    Participant

    Take everything that you have just mentioned above, and never lose focus of it… every second of your life is now brand new with your new image… take baby steps…. see what you can start out with, one step at a time and increase your discipline as you would with muscles when you’re in fitness training. Short respone but it should help.

    🙂 Namaste

    January 3, 2014 at 10:36 pm #48363
    Cjae
    Participant

    Not to sound resistant to your advice but how? What are some ways to focus more?

    January 4, 2014 at 4:48 am #48371
    Robert
    Participant

    How do you expect to let go of that box if you want it gone completely? This is not how the mind works. You cannot expect to end your pain by wanting it gone. That desire for relief is really what is causing you pain.

    I have suffered from OCD, avoidant personality disorder and other things.

    Now. These things cannot even touch me. Why? I do not care if any negative feeling comes or leaves me.

    Accepting all of your pain, truly with your soul realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do about your pain.

    Wherever you put your attention, that is where your mind will take you. If you focus your mind on your past, then that is your present life.

    When you spend your time hoping your life will be perfect. You will only ever see every single imperfections that needs repairing to reach that goal.
    You will never reach a peaceful life if you want things gone. If life has given you all these things. Than accept that as your life. If you can accept all of these things, than exactly who’s problems are they. Anxiety, fear, whatever. They are separate from the being who accepts them. That division, is pretend.

    Than maybe your life will be far greater than a bunch of thoughts and a few emotions that have meaning to whoever you think you are.
    After all you can never think who you are. You can never believe who you are.

    So than what makes you you? Turn your mind into who you think you are. If you do this with such intensity your mind will be forced to swing in that direction.
    Your mind will stop caring about the past, everything will not be gone. It will be here in the present, but the major change will be, that you will be more in the present.

    Also it is extremely important to understand. That problems only ever come when a person does not meet expectations based on their perspective of life. This perspective is influenced by other people.

    If you understand your perspective of life. Your problems cannot exist, only when you understand your perspective has absolutely no relevance to reality.

    That is how people give life meaning, by perspective of life. Life has no meaning and if it does, we can never know.

    You say life is this and that. And your anxiety blossom, only because you have not reached your idea of life.

    If you can see that you are absolutely totaly 100% in control of your life. You will stop trying to control it.

    -Peace

    January 5, 2014 at 11:31 pm #48466
    Hee
    Participant

    You just do it… Don’t think about the process of change… You think that change would take time but it happens in an instant. Start to let go of all those negative feelings and thoughts you have listed, and start feeling positive NOW and don’t stop thinking POSITIVELY and never focus feeling positively! Your desire to think or feel those negative thoughts are shaping your future in a negative way. When you bring positive feelings and concentrate on it, your thoughts change also. Your state of being would “improve”. You gain more clarity, and how you can better move forward and make your life more fulfilling. “Be enthusiastic as hellllll!”

    Some activities you may try could be: fitness, listening to positive upbeat music, hobbies, etc. just get your mind off from thinking that you’re not good enough or the environment has affected you because you’re not deserving enough. You have the power to change your own feelings and thoughts, not the other way around. When you reach a point where pain can no longer affect you, you have trained your mind to think clearly like a monk and become a more attractive human being… like a lotus flower.

    🙂

    January 10, 2014 at 12:29 pm #48888
    CAN
    Participant

    The holidays are generally hard for me but this year was especially rough. For some reason I started ruminating over a past relationship of more than thirty years ago in which a boyfriend I was deeply in love with unexpectedly ended our relationship of 2 1/2 years. I hadn’t thought about this for at least 20 years so I don’t know why it came up in my thoughts again. It turns out the internet can be a blessing and a curse because I was able to find him online and reached out. He was polite but obviously didn’t want much contact. We are both happily married with kids so it’s not as if I was looking for anything. Maybe I felt that if I could establish new memories, it could help me let go of the old ones. Any advice for going forward would be appreciated!

    January 10, 2014 at 11:15 pm #48906
    Robert
    Participant

    Stay in the moment. Stop asking questions, answers never satisfy anything in a person. They only lead to more questions.

    To truly completely let go of everything, you have to realize there is nothing to let go of. That all your problems come from one single thing.

    The past makes you who you are today, isn’t that true?

    If you make your life NOW. Totally in the present, if this is where you spend your time, the present will be your past your present and your future.

    In the present moment all time collides and memories and thoughts cease and only you exist.

    Forget establishing new memories. That is useless, you will never be free from your problems if you try to run away from them.

    Accept what is. Be here NOW. Sit down as often as you can and sense everything around you, pay attention to your thoughts.

    Do this for me please!! In your head say “hello” what happens after you say hello in your head?

    You will notice that there is nothing. A space right after you say that. A space of no thought. Than in that space, you are totally in the moment.

    Do this often and acceptance will come so easy to you.

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