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punishing myself

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  • September 2, 2017 at 10:25 am #166710
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear cranberry:

    You asked: “How do I get out of this stronger? How do I move on?”

    My answer: by working hard in counseling, by doing all you can to heal from the hurts and fears that caused you to be “emotionally abusive and manipulative” with him. You may not have the opportunity to have a second relationship chapter with him, one where you are emotionally honest and straightforward, but you are likely to have such an opportunity with another man.

    I believe that it is by correcting our behaviors, by gaining all the insight we can, learning new skills and practicing those, correcting our behaviors that need correcting, that we earn our self forgiveness.

    anita

    September 2, 2017 at 1:55 pm #166722
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Cranberry,

    He has forgiven you. You made mistakes, we all do in relationships. Relationships are complicated and difficult. But you can’t punish yourself, or the “the what it’s” “should have” “if only” because you will make yourself miserable. It’s all in the past now, all you can do is know that you loved and were lived when alot of people have never experienced something that beautiful. Your mistakes will make you stronger and grow, so you are better able to have a stable relationship again. Write down the issues you had and bring them up in counseling.

    I am sure you and your ex can be friends again someday. Try not to be too hard on yourself and look forward to becoming healthier and to a better future.

    September 6, 2017 at 1:47 am #167292
    amaya
    Participant

    Hi Cranberry,

    I believe people come into your life to make you realise more about yourself , bringing the best and worst in you and mould you for the best to come. The first step of you realising the drawbacks and trying to work on it is the first step of you growing from within. You will meet whom you will meant to be with. Don’t hurry just have enough patience and work on yourself. Have faith in the journey of life by putting the best step forward. Take care.

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