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Projecting negative thoughts/feelings on others

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  • December 13, 2018 at 5:00 pm #269193
    Frank Henry
    Participant

    Hi everybody!

    Can anyone please help with this issue ?

    This might sound weird but I personally don’t know anyone who would experience this. I (sometimes) wish bad things upon the other people around me. Let me just say that I DON’T wish anything upon anyone intentionally but these thoughts seem to pop out of nowhere and it is like I cannot control them.

    This is what the typical situation looks like. I am walking down the street , thinking about what I am going to cook for the dinner when somebody just passed me by and my mind suddenly goes like: “I hope he trips and breaks his leg.”

    OR

    I am standing at the bus stop next to someone eating sandwich and my mind again goes: ” Oh man, I hope she gets sick from that sandwich.” There is not really some stable time pattern. These thoughts just pop up once in while and either disappear within minutes or, in worse scenario, stick with me for about the month and I cannot get rid of them.

    At first, I thought that the root cause of these thoughts was anger or something because when somebody angered me, in the heat of the moment I wished them something bad.  However, it only made sense partially because in a lot of cases I don’t even know the people I am cursing.

    My main concern is  that I am scared that these thoughts will backfire on me or my friends/family. In a fact, I already had some of my bad intentions backfire. For instance,  I wished some random lady in the subway flu….well the next week, my mom was down with flu and I don’t think this was just a coincidence because there are many more examples that simply cannot be counted as a coincidence.

    I know that these thoughts are awful but I do not know how to control them. It is not like I purposefully walk around wishing bad stuff upon everyone. After I cursed someone I try to reverse it and think basically total opposite but it still leaves me scared.

    My questions are:

    Will every intention I set backfire on me ? (that would be pretty much horrifying)

    How can I stop having these thoughts ?

     

    Thank you for responses !

     

    December 14, 2018 at 7:47 am #269267
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear  Frank Henry:

    Sometimes I still find myself wishing something  not good to happen to another and  it scares me   too. But then I repeat myself the following truths that  I  learned:

    1. Thoughts and feelings are neither good nor bad, no moral judgment to them because they happen without our intention or choosing, just like you wrote: “these thoughts seem to  pop out  of nowhere and  it is like  I cannot control them”.

    2. Our thoughts do not have power to cause anything at all to happen. After all, as you walk  in the streets plenty or people wish something bad to happen to plenty of people, and you don’t see people  falling and dying all  around, victims of those  thoughts, do you? It never happens.

    It is actions that have power, words said and  things done. Not thoughts, those invisible happenings in between our ears.

    3. There is no  one  up there knowing what we think and planning to punish us for what we think. Only you know what you think. Others will know what  you think only if you tell them.

    What a relief it was for me when I learned that no one knows what I think (just as I don’t know what others think unless they tell me). My thoughts are private, and they are  my own business. A relief indeed. No one knows and no  one has the right to know.

    Your mother got the flu not because you wished a stranger to get the flu. After all,  didn’t she  get the  flu before, or was sick before when you didn’t wish it for another?

    4. When you wish something bad to happen to  people you don’t  know it is because you are angry. Your anger at people you  do know gets projected  into strangers.

    If you would like to share about your anger, please do.

    anita

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