- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 11 months ago by
Jim.
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May 21, 2014 at 1:16 am #56751
Gavin
ParticipantHi Jara.. I’ve been there – losing a sense of purpose. In fact I think I’m still in that bucket! hehe. It sounds as though you have at least part of a handle on what is wrong – first I’d recommend escaping the internet for a while. Try to put some distance between yourself and any destructive repeating cycles. I think that whatever is ticking over in your mind and heart will be eased if you can get yourself away from things for a bit, with one very important ingredient – enjoy the outdoors and look for the beauty in things inside and around you, the things which are important for you. Find those things that define who you are and focus on everything that’s good within and around you. It’s for sure that you cannot realistically be any good to anyone without first being good and sound within yourself, so take the time to build your strengths. You don’t mention anything about friends around you, off the internet? It’s possible that you don’t have many and I suppose since you haven’t mentioned anyone then I’ll have to assume that is the case for the moment, but that’s okay – me neither. I spend about 95% of my personal time in my own company, even when I find myself surrounded by other people. For me that’s just the way it is, so believe me when I say there’s nothing wrong with or weird about solitude. My ultimate advice? Just take things one day at a time, and believe in yourself as you look for what’s important to you, but whatever you do I’d say lessen your time looking on the net for so many answers and try to spend some time connecting with the better part of your surroundings, and try to find what’s important to you – what makes you tick? What gets you (or maybe used to get you) excited? Maybe there’s something new out there?
May 21, 2014 at 7:00 am #56769Jim
ParticipantI agree with Gavin. In order to really love someone, you must first love yourself. Easier said than done I know. I’m still working on that one. I find myself identifying with my girlfriend. I constantly have to take a step back and detach. I read some really good internet articles on love and detachment. Basically, in order to love someone unconditionally you must remove the caring. Yes, that sounds kind of counter-intuitive, but it works. Don’t care what they do, what they say, how you act around them, etc. Just be your authentic self see the value in yourself and in those things you love. Love comes from within, acceptance comes from within, happiness comes from within.
A good exercise that I’ve done is the following….
If _______ would only _______, then I could feel _______.For each person who causes you angst write this line. Once you have written every thing down then make a line through the words until you get to the “I”. So you are left with “I could feel ________.” Because ultimately, you could feel anything you want to feel, you just have to let yourself feel it.
Good luck to you!
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