I know we all control our own minds and lives. I’ve been able to determine my own fears and anxieties, and I’ve been able to overcome them for the most part.. I’ve struggled with depression for the past few years and I’ve just recently reached the “surface” and found a bit of peace in my life. I try to keep this peace by staying mindful and loving myself, respecting myself, and being grateful. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to keep this good attitude and freedom when I am around people..

For example, I used to suffer from an eating disorder.. I was overweight, and I battled it by essentially starving myself and over-doing cardio. I became so concerned and obsessed with what I ate, calories, and the number on the scale that I became so depressed that I nearly drove myself to suicide. I am over it now for the most part after a long time of mental practice and support, but I still have my days of weakness.
I am especially weakened when I am around someone who mentions their own weight or talks about dieting. Suddenly my strong mind turns on itself and I start second guessing my own body, my meal decisions, and I find myself beginning to count calories for the next week.. I try my best to remain mindful and remind myself that I am just fine the way I am, but it’s so difficult..

Do any of you have any advice for me to not be so affected by other people and their own personal problems/attitude? I find myself drifting away from close friends because of their non-stop weight-loss chatter, or my dad because of his constant negativity and criticism of other people.. I like being alone and I am hesitant to hang out with anyone because I feel too vulnerable to my emotions and fears when I am around other people.. I don’t want to be alone, but it keeps the anxious thoughts at bay.

I don’t know how to be more confident with my own decisions and thoughts, or to not be affected by what other people think.