Dear Wisdom:

I am glad you started this thread. And I do hope others will answer your questions. I would like to … later on.
anita

Dear Wisdom:

I really am curious and hoping for others’ answers. As to my own, here is my reply to every part of your post here:

“…do you think or know if we get the love we ask for?” I don’t think you GET the love you ask for, you MAKE it happen. When you use the verb GET, it means to me that you are placing yourself in the passive position of asking and hoping to receive, when reality is that to have a loving relationship, you need to be an active and assertive part in it!

“…does god give you that?” I don’t believe there is a god. But even if there was, obviously, he doesn’t GIVE people loving relationships with others: you still have to be an active part in it! You have to get it, to look for it, to make it happen and maintain it. This is so for people who believe in god AND for people who don’t.

“say you have a person in mind – would god give them to you?” No. It may happen, but like winning the lottery, you have to do SOMETHING to have any chance of having what you want.

“or would you say that this is selfish?” I don’t think it is selfish to have a person in mind. It is not selfish to feel anything and wanting someone or something is a feeling. A desire is a feeling and none of your feelings is selfish.

“…does god defy want we want? does god want us to hang on a string of confusion?” god, if he or she or it existed, his/her/its job is … obviously not to give us our wishes. It may be Santa Claus’s job and that is only on Christmas day. it is not god’s job, so you are looking for your wishes to come true, but you are looking for the wrong … person to give your wishes to you. Making your wishes come true, Wisdom, is not god’s job.

“…i guess i just want to hear what i want to hear.” And so, you will hear only what you want to hear…

“do our beliefs outshine our fears?”- your beliefs so far, Wisdom, did not outshine your fears, this is why you are still afraid. Your beliefs haven’t worked for you so far.

anita

Dear Wisdom:

The thing is, Wisdom, that what you want, what you desire is to love and be loved by a young man, be in a loving relationship. It doesn’t have to be this particular man. If you say hi to him again and again and do a million backflips, like you wrote, to get his attention and he is not paying attention to you… then he is not the one!

See, one of the beliefs you have, one of the beliefs that is not working for you, is that it has to be that particular man. It doesn’t have to be him. And besides, this particular man that you are interested in, you never met in person. You never expressed to him that you are interested in a relationship with him. So all those backflips you mentioned, well… those were the backflips you made in between your ears- this is where they happened.

To make things happen in real life, the action has to be outside that space in between the ears.

Your desire is a good desire, natural and understandable: to love and be loved. How to go about it is the question, isn’t it/

anita

Dear Wisdom:

You wrote: “i still believe he’s mine. i always have.” But there were others you had crushes on before him, so it is not true that “(you) always have” believed he is the one. There were others, only you believed he is the one more intensely and for longer, isn’t it correct?

The main point though is that you believe you are unlovable, unworthy of love, of being loved. This is why you feel like a fool, sort of thinking something like this: “I should know I am unlovable! What a fool I was to think it is possible for this man to love me! There is no reason to love me! I know better, why did I even hope? Oh, how stupid I am…”

Isn’t this something like what you are thinking?

And this is the key to everything: beliefs. Remember I wrote on this thread that your beliefs have not been working for you so far? This is the main belief that you have about you that has not been working for you but against you!

You believe that you are unlovable, not worthy of being loved by any young man that you desire or may desire. This is what you believe. Unfortunately for you, your belief is not what is true. Can you imagine it being a possibility, that something you believe in so strongly is not true?

It is possible for you and for me and for everyone, to believe things are true when in reality, they are not true.

Believe in god, if you’d like; believe in destiny if it suits you… in the Universe and in butterflies. But believe that you are lovable. For as long as you believe you are unlovable, you are your own worst enemy and you are doomed.

Are you open just a …little bit to consider that you are wrong in your belief of you being unworthy of being loved? Are you open to consider that there are things to love about you?

I believe that you are worthy of being loved by a young man that you desire. I have no doubt about it.

So… one of us is wrong. Who might that be???

anita

Dear Wisdom:

Your grandpa loved you. Because you are lovable. You brought out his love and he loved you. This is proof that it is possible for another to love you. I know that it is and if you were my daughter, if I was the mother in your home right now, I know that I would love you and you would know it in your heart.

You believe in god and in destiny and in soulmates and you are “sticking to that belief”- strong willed Wisdom, this is one of your lovable traits, “sticking to it”- no matter what I say! This is you sticking to your beliefs and I respect you for it!

The assignment of the day- wait are we doing it here… maybe bring up the other thread? Mirror: repeat to yourself, please: “My grandpa loved me because i am lovable” Look at yourself and say: “This is who my grandpa loved. And if he was here, this is the person he would love still and always.”

anita

Good night, Wisdom. It shouldn’t take long to add those two sentences. Hope you did it and sleep well. Till the morrow-
anita