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Post brak-up blues – Give it one more try? Confused!!

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  • January 5, 2015 at 8:07 pm #70625
    Maggie Black
    Participant

    Archie,
    She sounds like a wonderful person, but not the one for you right now.
    You said it over and over. You really are not attracted to her and attraction is a huge thing in a relationship.
    You don’t want to spend your life in a relationship with someone you don’t find attractive.
    You WANT to want to make it work because she has good qualities and is beautiful.

    But it is not enough. You need attraction! It is what make the relationship fun and exciting and, Challenging!

    You can always see her again if you want to, but until you feel settle in your heart that she is “the one” don’t make any major moves of relocation.

    I wish you the best!

    January 5, 2015 at 8:53 pm #70655
    Nick M.
    Participant

    Archie,

    Usually when we invest a lot of effort into something (specifically people in this case) we do begin to grow sort of feeling for that person, whether its love, attraction, anger, etc. You don’t have to feel guilty for trying and letting things go if they don’t feel particularly right. Try to take 10 minutes to clear your mind, remove all of the ideas that are floating around in your head (maybe I should work harder at it, am I being shallow, what if I lose something great) and in silence ask yourself “is this right for me?”. Your answer may come, and by the way you described the relationship it sounds like you’ve genuinely put in the effort and opened your heart and you’re feeling a bit of resistance which is ok. You’ve done what you thought was right so far and you’ve handled the situation very well. Give yourself some credit!

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