Home→Forums→Tough Times→Pls i beg, anyone help me with this every year issue of mine
- This topic has 126 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 10 months ago by
Anonymous.
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February 15, 2023 at 12:52 am #415409
AnonymousInactiveI also keep thinking now that i have posted on social media, i cant make mistakes because a lot of people are focusing on me now…. I’d be embarrassing if i did mistakes….
If they know what im doing in my office, only learning and sometimes even fell asleep due to sleepy, a lot of people who notice my relationship will definitely judge me…..
I look like im a lazy and spoilt guy right?
February 15, 2023 at 1:03 am #415410AnonymousInactiveI apologize if i look like im spamming threads as i posted 5 posts above…. I just wanted to speak everything here….
February 15, 2023 at 1:20 am #415411
HelcatParticipantHi Eric
Slow down a minute? How did the date go?
February 15, 2023 at 1:57 am #415412AnonymousInactiveWell as for the date, it went well….
February 15, 2023 at 2:01 am #415413HelcatParticipantPlease tell me more! This will help me understand what is going on with your anxiety right now.
February 15, 2023 at 2:09 am #415414AnonymousInactiveLike the scenarios of how the date went from the start till the end?
February 15, 2023 at 2:10 am #415415AnonymousInactiveWell the anxiety is not all due to the date, some of it is due to “outside the date”… like the social media 😅
February 15, 2023 at 2:23 am #415416HelcatParticipantIf you shared pictures of your relationship on social media for Valentine’s day I would consider it to do with the date. Giving her the bag you expressed anxiety about too.
I’m just curious how she responde and trying to understand what happened. Last I heard you were unsure about posting online. Did you go through with it?
February 15, 2023 at 3:34 am #415417AnonymousInactiveI shared pictures of my relationship on social media together with her, she told me the decision is on me… if i decided to post then she’ll follow…. Then i decided to post it….
Now many of the people i know are shocked that im in a relationship and one by one are asking how i know her….. tbh im tired of answering this…. I dont want my answers to cause a problem to the relationship….
I was actually unsure about posting my relationship, but maybe because at that time she was beside me and im in the mood to show our happy moments, then i decided to post it….. but after i went home i started to regret my decision….. also because i saw a lot of people posting valentines day with their couple on social media…. So i wanted to show mine too…..
After i post the relationship and people started to ask me, i really really miss the moment where nobody knows and it felt so peaceful…. I want that moment again….. i feel like crying…
As for the bag her expression was shocked, and she kinda said that i dont need to give this…. (Maybe because its too much and kind of me forcing to give extra gift) as for the bracelet it doesnt seem like forced….
Because she also give me a gift which is a couple tshirt…..
February 15, 2023 at 3:56 am #415419HelcatParticipantHi Eric
I’m sorry that this decision to share pictures has been painful for you. It doesn’t sound like people have been cruel which is good news. I understand that it is still very tough for you though and that the questions are painful too.
I think it was a very brave thing that you did. I’m glad that your girlfriend encouraged you to make the decision and didn’t pressure you. I’m glad that you made the decision out of good feelings but I can understand why you regret it.
I hope that in time these feelings will get easier. That no one will be cruel and then you can start to relax.
Do you feel like you are waiting for people to say something bad or judge you?
It doesn’t sound like she had a bad reaction to the bag. It is understandably shocking to receive such a wonderful gift. I don’t see that as a bad thing though. You have succeeded in a goal that is important in your culture. Showing that you can provide.
February 15, 2023 at 4:08 am #415420AnonymousInactiveDear helcat,
Yes all people’s respond are good, it’s just that i have trust issues…. Because thats how people in general respond… and if there is some conflict in any relationship… they’d also comment badly about either person… that’s why i dont trust people….
No im not waiting for people to say something bad or judge me… but i feel like i just lose my freedom to feel relax….
I’m a person who fear to talk a lot as it could create a misunderstanding or gossips… that’s why i dont like it when people keep asking me how i know her….
Also there are people who’s not in a relationship but they like to gossip about other people’s relationship….Do u think what im experiencing here is common? Or is it a bit of overreacting and overthinking?
Yes it must have been shocking to receive such gift…. The problem is i didnt think far, that if i give luxurious gift i need to maintain it every year…. And it could be tiring, moreover it could spoil her…. And i dont want that…. I should’ve think far ahead…. But at the same time i wanna show her i can provide…. It’s a very hard decision….
February 15, 2023 at 4:10 am #415421AnonymousInactiveBut even if i may sound overreacting…. It’s really painful on what im experiencing…. Like i dont know what to do….. everything that i do seems to be a mistake….
February 15, 2023 at 6:05 am #415424HelcatParticipantHi Eric
Thank you for explaining that you have difficulty trusting people, don’t like gossip or misunderstandings and feel like you’ve lost freedom to relax.
I really appreciate you clarifying and explaining everything. It helps me to understand how you are feeling.
I can understand why you feel that way. I think that on some level people feel this. But often people try not to think about it because thinking about it can make them feel worse. I hope that you get used to the situation and in time it is less painful.
Not to worry about the bag. Every time won’t need to be as fancy. Although I’m sure you will spoil her, but not in a bad way.
February 15, 2023 at 6:26 am #415425AnonymousInactiveReally? I shouldnt worry about the bag? What if she’s expecting something more fancy? It is a possibility isnt it? Like its a human nature….
As for my friends who’s curious about our relationship, how do u think i should handle them? I want to ignore them, but i feel like i’d be so unpleasant to them if i do that, and i dont want to lose friends only because of this…. But i dont want them to keep the convo going and keep asking a lot….
So in ur opinion, with time everything will be less painful?
I’m a person that’s really not good in handling pressure like this…. Like i wanna make sure im safe but i also need to deal with the issue…. I’m a very safety person that’s why i feel worried if people keep asking me, i dont want my words to ruin the relationship….
February 15, 2023 at 7:09 am #415426AnonymousInactiveTill now tbh i still regret giving that bag, if i knew her reaction would be like that…. I’d have opted for a cheaper bag….. and gave that bag till we’re a year or more…. It’s too early…. I was too insecure because this sunday she’s coming to my house and i dont want her to reject me due to my house…. That’s why yesterday im sure to give her that luxury bag….
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