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Please help me.

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  • September 20, 2015 at 6:52 pm #83712
    André
    Participant

    I am sitting in my shower, with a cigarette in my hand, I’ve definetily rocked bottom.
    I’ve been in constants situations of loving and not be loved, of giving and not recieved, of create ilusions and end with superficial sex…
    Let me clear this for you guys, one of my passions in life are love and romance, I am a doomed hopeless romantic, is just a part of myself, like my traveler heart, my passion for my career. So this situations that have been happening since The last couple of years, and after all the constants “sorry I dont love you back” “I dont like you that way” “I dont see myself with you” “I just wanna have fun” are finally ending with me… I feel tired, hopeless, without faith, angry, ashamed of me for acting like such a stupid child; I feel like a part of my is dying, like when a person lost their love to god, even if that person believed with all their soul, but there are no reasons to keep believing, man is tough.
    I dont want to sound overdramatic, but I really feel like this, I am so lost, I dont know who I am anymore, I am so heart broken.
    Please, someone, guide me, advice me, I need it…
    Thank you.

    September 20, 2015 at 7:12 pm #83714
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andre:

    Let the doomed hopeless romantic go then… let him go down the drain with that cigarette. Replace him with a realistic, hopeful person who gets close to another slowly, gradually while learning who that person is before jumping in. No more jumping in with closed eyes, hoping not to fall on hard surface. Keep your eyes open and take one step at a time. Slowly…

    Start friendships with this and that person, a few. Proceed with caution, patiently, take your time. Hopefully with one, over time, it will make sense to get deeper and before you know it, there it is: to love and be loved in return.

    anita

    September 22, 2015 at 9:19 am #83839
    Jodi
    Participant

    I agree with Anita, that the “hopeless romantic” persona is not serving you very well. Rather than looking for love in so many that you befriend, what if you sat down and got really clear about exactly what you are looking for in a partner? So many times people who are hopeless romantics put off the vibe to potential dates that they are desperate and are simply looking for a name for the girlfriend/boyfriend blank space. That will scare people off every time. Perhaps take some time off from dating and get very clear about your wants and needs. Also look at thoughts and behaviors that may be holding you back and begin addressing those. Find a good coach that can help you work through the process and give yourself some time to figure it all out.

    Best of luck!

    ~Jodi

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by Jodi.
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