It seems like your wife is not happy with you and that you could not make her happy. Her circumstances, not being happy and not being in love with you, pushed her into the arms of someone else. You write she was living a fake life with you for the last 10 years, that is very sad.
I think it is time to give her her “real” life back (which is not really in your hands, you only can let her go and its up to her to stop living a fake life) and it is time for you to start to be happy again. You are going through a hard time. The worst you ever could imagine happened to you. You are at the lowest point in your life.

I know what I say now might upset you but STOP being the victim.

Take over the responsibility for the situation. Stop fighting it! What you resist you strength. I know that you suffer and that you are soooo sad about everything, but please
try to accept the situation and accept your suffering and sadness as well, because this is part of it all. When you can accept that your wife is with someone else and that she cheated on you, it will help to pass this hard time much quicker. To come out of it much sooner. Of course you can decide to go the llooonnnnggg destructive way.
Its up to you.

Try to see yourself with the eyes of your wife right now, she looses the rest of respect she still has for you.
Stand up, be strong!

I feel you are a man with a very big heart and even you can not imagine right now that this is possible, I see you veeerrryyyyy hhaapppyyy with a wonderful woman on your side. She looks up to you with a smile. She loves you and she is very proud of you. With her you can be yourself, you dont have to pretend to be something you are not. I see a wonderful path in front of you. You have lovely guides around you.

Please don’t be afraid to do the next important step, which should be talking with your wife without blaming her. Try to find a way to separate with her in a good way.
Try to close that circle with her in love and not in anger. One day she will realize what she has lost!

Be grateful for this big exercise and the possibility to grow!

I wish you all the best and the strength to stand up and take over your life again.
Lots of Love

You have every right to feel devastated. That’s a lot of emotional investment wiped out with a few harsh words. What I’m wondering is about is your references to depression. If you’re sad/blue as a result of what you’re going through, that’s one thing. If you have been diagnosed with depression, that’s quite another matter. If you are sad or blue, the foregoing advice from members here is awesome. If you are clinically depressed, you should seek professional help in the form of talk therapy, antidepressants or both. Depression is so debilitating mentally, physically and emotionally that it would be virtually impossible for you to achieve a healthy outcome from your present situation.

There is life after this storm and I hope you find it in bountiful measure.

I saw you changed your name. That is good. I told you about my situation with my husband. There was a time my husband became ugly to me, but this is only because I felt ugly myself. There is nothing wrong with your physical appearance. I promise. My situation was not entirely my husband’s fault. Sure, my husband treated me poorly in public, but I could see his efforts to change. I know he trusted me and cared for me in his own way. He seemed resentful that he was working to support the family. He left me at home with the children almost every day to go out with his friends for years. I became more and more isolated and he became more distant emotionally. Whenever I tried to communicate with him, he would get angry or blow me off. After I blew up and threatened to leave him after our kids were grown, he seemed to “get it.” He changed immediately. He explained he does love me and maybe his expression was incorrect. I must admit, I was not the most loving person either. Everyone has “issues” and sometimes they manifest themselves in the relationships we have with the people closest to us. I believe in communication. You seem like a very nice man. If your wife was missing something in the relationship, she should have told you. Cheating is horrible. Kelly is right. What she did has nothing to do with you. She was being selfish and dishonest. There is nothing wrong with you. My husband is also from an Asian culture, and I’m not sure if it makes a difference or not, but it seems Asian men care for their wives in a way that may be lacking emotional intimacy. I may be totally wrong about that. In any case, I understand my husband more now and I am trying to open my heart to him. I’m sorry your wife did not do the same for you. I wish you the best.

Hello

I am sorry that it turned out this for you but hey, good on you for being so strong and making a fair and quick decision.

Stay strong and look after your own needs. Pls don’t waste any time trying to understand why she did what she did or if there is something wrong with you. If you have to grieve, pls do so but by being kind to yourself.

You will be fine 🙂 and life will unfold besutifully. Just learn the lessons that this relationship was trying to teach you and move on to bigger and better things.

Blessings,

J