Im not sure what you are asking here. Is being friends with an ex ok? or is your approach legit?

I know the feeling you are going through. I had a dream last night that had my ex in it. Just that alone was enough to make me wake up and feel the emotional cocktail you refer to. I would like to also reach out, however I know I will not get the kind of reception I would be hoping for. I more than likely wouldn’t not have an invitation to meet up for dinner accepted. So I spare myself the grief and will let it be.

There is something to be said about needing closure, the two of you coming together and talking like adults about what went wrong what was right. Affirming what you meant to each other but coming to a consensus about the way it ended. Ive gotten this from all my ex’s except the most recent one. I think its legit to ask her what she wants out of a platonic relationship with you. Like you said that way they are clear and out in the open, leaving no room for assumptions or unmet expectations.

I can relate to feeling like you werent the person you wanted to be in your prior relationship. Its tough to forgive ourselves and move forward without playing the “what if” game. I related to it being a learning lesson about myself. Just sucks it had to take all this for me to wake up.

I think you are proceeding forward with a level head. My only concern is that you are not over her, and will attempt a reconcile that she may not want. Only pushing her away again. I suppose you can have some expectations of her but do not be completely invested in their outcome. Be happy with whatever time and energy she is willing to give you, as Im sure her defenses will eventually drop further as additional time moves on.

Be honest with your intentions.

Are you looking for a do-over? Knowing what we know now, can it be different?

Secondly,

Why do you want a do over? Is it for the girl? or to prove something to yourself? That you are not “that”man that is so distasteful to you, to in other words change the ending or last memory of that relationship with a better one?

In other words, is this about love or more self serving and about you and healing?

Often, we think its about the person but its really what we’ve made that person into. What they symbolize. The power we have given them or the relationship.