Dear Zerox, It seems that you already know what you need to do…but you need to give it time… give time to the process… Your therapist, gave you the tools you need, well, put them to use! Life is beautiful, but it may hurt you many times…I cannot think or feel how it would be to lose a brother, but what I can tell you is that if your brother could see you now, would he like what he would see? What would he feel? I´m sure he would like to see you advancing in life, and feeling good.
After Chaos, comes a time for introspection. You need to take time for it… If needed, live the moment, stay in the present, and work with it…and if it gets really awful, maybe check out a few medications that might help you, you should ask your therapist.