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Perfectionism / Lonely / Anxious / Early 20's

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  • November 17, 2016 at 12:33 am #120543
    LovelyBlue
    Participant

    Dear Birdyy,

    you are not old for nothing, I was still dealing with depression in your age, but I knew I had to do something, no matter how small it seemed, because I did not want to spend my whole life in that miserable state. With small steps every day towards your healing and better living. You lack of confidence and I`ll be short in writing here, but I will give you these two articles, maybe they can help you somehow.

    Actually, I`ll be glad if you find them helpful and implement those tips in your life.

    Here they are: http://wanderside.com/how-i-overcame-depression-and-i-know-ill-never-go-back-there/
    and http://justbereal.co.uk/feel-beautiful-about-your-body/

    Big hug for you.

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by LovelyBlue.
    • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by LovelyBlue.
    • This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by LovelyBlue.
    November 17, 2016 at 12:56 am #120547
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Dear Birdy,

    I admire how you are handling your own matters at such a young age. Truth be said, what you are feeling is normal actually and this disconnect is more glaring for you because you miss connection and companionship.

    It’s hard being alone. I won’t shy away from saying this and I don’t buy the whole we have to stop needing people in our life to be “independent” – we are inter-dependant to be precise and need someone to understand and connect though of course, we can do most things on our own.

    Maybe you could head to a local religious center and share your thoughts with an elderly person there, sort of like a kind and friendly soul…not asking to become religious, more like just to have a friendly, sensible and caring person to talk to…maybe go help out at a children’s home..when I was away from everyone and feeling anxious, disconnected, that effort to drag myself out of the house every week to see the kids, spend time with them was somehow really spirtiually uplifting. Most of them have really tragic backgrounds but somehow their strength, laughter and the happy energy of little kids brings me to life and makes me feel less alone somehow.

    I know it feels weird to do things alone and most of these friends are at a different stage in their life but I think having just 1-2 meaningful connection really helps.

    Having just someone over for simple activities makes things more bearable.

    Regarding perfectionism and anxiety, many of us have this problem but I think with time and social support, you will feel more relaxed. Tthe whole grade 0 thing….well I had this habit of ripping off pages the moment I made 1 mistake in a spelling or something here and there – I was that um….perfectionist

    So you ain’t alone in this at all 🙂

    I am kinda curious though, what happened at 15? What do you mean by cultural issues?

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    – Nina

    November 17, 2016 at 3:44 am #120549
    Mishika
    Participant

    Hi birdyy
    My question for you. Who says learning to swim at the age of 22 is not cool? Or you are too old to learn swimming . Please take this out of your mind . And if you want to learn to swim please do that. Your first step to feel little less lonely. I myself have learned swimming when I was 24 years old.
    And same with gymming you don’t need to wait for anyone to join with you. Rather once you’l join gym and after when your friends will see you enjoying gyming they join with you .
    So 2 things you can do that you want to do and that will definitely make you feel more fresh positive and will take the feeling of being lonely.
    Its good that you want everything to be perfect. But like you gave your 8th grade example if it doesn’t turn out to be what you expected you muststill keep your hopes high for the result.

    And because you are feeling lonely you must read this why spending time alone is a gift

    http://www.magicalvibe.com/feeling-lonely/

    Mishika 🙂

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