Tonglen is a practice that is typically done after one is able to visualize the crystal heart of compassion in one’s own body. We breathe in other’s suffering, but those dark tendrils evaporate as they touch our radiant energy. We do not drink it in as poison which we take for others.

Said differently, if we first stabilize metta, then we have the space of mindfulness to practice tonglen without creating ripples in our own mind.

Matri,

I wouldn’t have considered my words contrary to Pema Chodron’s, but if quacks like a duck, eh?

Rather than invent the wheel, consider the following perspective:
“When I was taught tonglen it took five days of 6 hour teaching sessions to get the basic points across. This is mainly because an un-informed practitioner may do tonglen from the position of self (“I” am taking on the suffering of others) and run into all sorts of problems. Tonglen requires guru yoga at the very least in order to be truly effective, otherwise it either becomes another ego-bolstering practice (look at “me” taking on everybody’s suffering) or can easily lead to disillusionment (“I” cannot possibly deal with everybody’s suffering)”

This is pretty close to what I learned from my teacher as well… who was also lineaged under Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche with Pema Chodron. Consider that skillful means is knowing what to show whom. Consider also how codependent tendencies often position a mind to self sacrifice for the suffering of others, whereby tonglen practice may bolster ego clinging.

Or don’t, its just my opinion and those of some others. Plenty of views to go around!

With warmth,
Matt