Home→Forums→Relationships→Parents and Living at home at 22
- This topic has 11 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 4 months ago by
LemonTree.
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September 18, 2022 at 12:31 am #407164
AnonymousInactiveHi Tara
I’m very sorry to hear that you are still experiencing verbal abuse and coercive control from your parents.
I would suggest that their behaviour is abnormal even for a teenager. I did not have my phone tracked, I was not verbally abused for attempting to date as a teenager.
I would suggest seeking the aid of a local woman’s domestic violence organisation. These organisations provide support to women for a wide variety of circumstances including verbal abuse and coercive control. Support is usually provided for abuse from anyone you live with. Perhaps they would be able to assist you with planning to move out of your parents home?
September 18, 2022 at 10:05 am #407176
pink24ParticipantGirl, I’ve been there! When I was 22 I was living at home and it was a horror show….
Two words: MOVE OUT! (or at least have a plan to)
I know you’re probably like, “rents are too high” or “saving money makes sense” and the thing is, yes, saving money does make sense, so maybe if you can’t move out right now–MAKE. A. PLAN. Tell yourself, 3 more months, and that’s it. Something like that. And realize that during those months, you’re just not going to have a life. Or at least not the one you want just yet.
Your parents will always see you as their little girl. Always. No matter what. I think to save your sanity and your relationship with your parents, you HAVE to have a plan to move out. Your mother sounds super dramatic (mine was the same way) so I’m not sure there’s much talking to sense to them. But you’re an adult now, and you can make your own choices as to what’s best for your life.
This too shall pass, girl. Promise! I lived at home for two whole years with literally like FBI parents before I moved out, and I lived to tell. You will too!
Good luck!
Pink 🙂
September 18, 2022 at 12:55 pm #407186AnonymousGuestDear Tara:
You described the very difficult living situation that we discussed a bit in your previous thread. I was wondering: is there a way for you to live away from your parents for low or no rent, as a house sitter perhaps, or staying in a house with an elderly/ handicapped person so to be there (at night time, let’s say) for the person in case of emergency?
anita
September 18, 2022 at 2:28 pm #407190
TaraParticipantHi Anita, that would possibly be an option, but I have a dog, which I’m sure most places would not allow, especially living as a caregiver or such etc.
September 18, 2022 at 2:32 pm #407191AnonymousInactiveHi Tara
Domestic violence organizations can sometimes make arrangements to take animals with you.
September 18, 2022 at 2:37 pm #407192AnonymousGuestDear Tara:
Maybe having a dog will make my suggestion not an option in regard to “most places”, but you need only one place. Lots of people love dogs: some of them are looking for a responsible person for one of the positions I mentioned.
anita
September 18, 2022 at 2:37 pm #407193AnonymousGuestDear Tara:
Maybe having a dog will make my suggestion not an option in regard to “most places”, but you need only one place. Lots of people love dogs: some of them are looking for a responsible person for one of the positions I mentioned.
anita
September 18, 2022 at 2:38 pm #407194AnonymousGuestDouble post, ignore one, consider the other, lol
anita
November 5, 2022 at 8:21 am #409658AnonymousGuestHow are you, Tara, still living at home?
anita
November 11, 2022 at 8:22 pm #409992
StoutHeartedMenParticipantDear Tara,
I hope you are doing better since then. I would like to share that, as a 23 year old, most of my friends from childhood live with their parents and they too are earning college degrees and working, so please know that your situation is not uncommon.
However, I agree with other posters that it seems incredibly intense and the scrutiny your parents demand is highly unusual and seems unfair to you. I am very sorry you have to deal with such intrusion.
Do you think it is worth discussing boundaries with them? How do you feel about other posters’ ideas to move out? Do you feel like you can continue living there and find some semblance of privacy?
I hope you have been doing well and sending positive, peaceful energy to you and your family!
December 4, 2022 at 12:29 am #411276
LemonTreeParticipantHi Tara
I am quite new to this forum so I haven’t gone through the other threads that you’ve started before this one. I might read those when I have time. It is a bit late now so I will do that when I have time.
Just looking at this post, and based on my experience of dealing with my own parents, I have 2 words for you: MOVE OUT. If it is really over with your ex, then I guess you have no choice but to leave that place.. Is it possible to share a place with your friends? I don’t know where you’re located. But there might be sites where you can find housemates to share a flat together?
I have awful parents as well. Of course they don’t won’t approve of it. Why would they approve of me being going out with someone, either casual or in a serious relationship? I didn’t believe it either. But a casual relationship I had in the past turned into something really genuine and I’m in a really happy place with my partner 🙂
My friend’s parents are crazy as well. They like to track her locations, go over her browser history, and ring her every few hours. If she doesn’t pick up the calls she might risk having her hands chopped off.
I admire you for working hard and still having the time (and courage) to go to college part-time. You are wonderful and I wish you success
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