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Paranoia got the best of me

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  • November 3, 2014 at 7:13 pm #67280
    Marylaura
    Participant

    hello, ive been feeling like this too i know how you feel, ive been desperately looking for help for something that can bring me back from this awful and terrifying spot im on, there are good days in which im sure i can make it in which i totally believe in the power i have to take me out of this, maybe we can help each other its good to know there is someone who can understand you, please write to me if you feel like it ; sandoval.mary20@gmail.com

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by Marylaura.
    November 4, 2014 at 3:40 am #67288
    Flower
    Participant

    I feel you as well.
    i have recently began to admit a lot of things to myself. accept that i have regrets and that i have done bad things. that doesnt mean i am a bad person but sometimes its impossible to realise that. i feel like anyone i condsidered a friedn was fake because seriously who could like that monster???
    when self loathing sets in its horrible and a huge pit to fall into. but you can scramble out. i personally like to write myself out of it. i start by just writing waht is on my mind – why the hate. then through different methods i have found on here and other sites i coax myself out. i start to sort the feelings into the places where they belong and then to also recognise why they are there, why they are allowed to be there and how to then deal and leave them behind.
    sometimes when i really cannot get out of the black hole i just make myself write what in my life is good and what i am grateful for… then how did it get there – because i work hard, my family loves me because i show them love, why do i have a functioning brain and body because i look after it (now) then from there i really can get up into why i am better now for realising the bad things.
    there will always be the fear that things will fall apart, and they probably will but you have the tools now to get back up. and people are accepting, you said you had a few true friends if thats the case they will accept what you have been through and if it rears its head again will still be there when you sort your things out.
    you have a wonderful man who has supported you into this and out of this and for that you are truly blessed.
    feel strong be strong and let hapiness in 🙂

    also MARYLAURA if you just need to talk there is a website google 7 cups of tea and you can just talk to a stranger… its helped me soooo much!

    November 4, 2014 at 4:30 pm #67338
    Nana
    Participant

    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply this, love. This meant a lot to me, to know that someone else too is facing the same thing. One thing that has kept me going is that I know I can’t live in the past, i can only work on my self moment to moment, making sure i am no longer that monster in the now.

    I’m grateful for all that i have, and being grateful has helped a lot. What ive realized is, we can only feel one emotion at a time, and i have the power to choose which to feel. Because often, my mind is creating false stories, energizing the fear. And then i am trapped in a vicious loop.

    But meditating has helped so much, and this website, and sharing, and loving.

    Thank you again. <3

    November 6, 2014 at 3:18 am #67417
    Flower
    Participant

    Not living in the past is the hardest part.
    because beleive me without the past i have and the stupid choices i have made and even the way i have treated people i would be in a much better place right now
    i guess i need to work on self-forgivness but it seems impossible for now.
    yeah this website is a great pick me up

    All The Best
    Kat

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