Hi, my name is Stephanie and I am 24 years old.
I wouldn’t consider myself a worrier, I usually don’t dwell on the past, and if i do get angry, once I go to bed I usually forget about it in the morning.

However, 3 weeks ago, I suffered a huge Panic Attack on the way to work. I was waiting for the ferry and all of a sudden this overwhelming feeling of fear came upon me and it was the ‘fight or flight’ instinct but i kept just trying to power through it because i was trying to act like it was a normal day. When i got off the ferry, i felt very disorientated, and i felt like i was about to faint and i felt like i was going to explode! so i ended going home and saw a doctor who suggested for me to see a psychologist.

The next day, while putting on my makeup to go to work, i had this anxious feeling that i would have another episode again, and i started to freak out, but my bf was very lovely and came to work with me and since then i have been in a state of general anxiety, thinking and waiting for when my next attack will be.

I know i have Panic Disorder. I am currently seeing a Psychologist who will be doing cognitive behavioural therapy on me, I am also seeing a hypnotherapist who is re-training my mind, and i even saw a spiritual guidance, and i had such a positive vibe from her that i even booked in for a spiritual healing session with her to realign my chakras.

Even tho I am seeing all these people and i feel a whole lot better, i feel I’m not the same person i was 3 weeks ago. and i do catch myself wondering at times, will i have to cope with this forever? when will my next attack be? Im about to go on a plane in a few weeks, will i have an attack there? When i go travelling one day, will i wonder to myself will i have an attack in the middle of the street? when I’m pregnant and pushing out the baby, will i have a panic attack there? I feel like this anxiety has messed up my thinking and i can’t live a full life of just ignorant bliss.

If anyone has advice i will gladly appreciate it. Am i the only one going through this? how do i train my brain to not think “am i going to have an anxiety attack now or at some point of my life?”

I know its a very long post, sorry. but thank you for reading and i would appreciate any positive advice. i don’t want to read that one day i will become a crazy cat lady! thanks!

STephanie09